The Switch
by 4ng3legg
Summary: Takes place between when Sasuke killed Orochimaru and when Naruto and co. found out. Sasuke wakes up with Hebi in Hinata's body! Hinata wakes up in Konoha in Sasuke's body! Just what is happening? No pairings! Just insanity! Cracktastic!
1. Waking Up

I asked permission from P.R Gurl to use this concept.  
Go read their story: Freaky Konoha - it's a blast!

* * *

**The Switch**

Sasuke slept easily, in spite of the fact that he was in a small inn with three people he knew only slightly better than strangers.  
When he awoke, he lay quietly for several minutes, going over his plan of actions.  
Someone in the room shifted in their sleep and murmured softly, "…the birds…"  
Sasuke opened his eyes and pushed himself up. Blinking at the bright sunshine flooding the room, Sasuke noted that his eyes felt sensitive.  
Too sensitive.

He reached up to rub his eyes but stopped when he saw his hands.  
He stared at his hands.  
No – not _his_ hands.  
He was staring at a girl's small pale hands – with neatly manicured fingernails and thin fingers.  
These were not his hands.

Sasuke looked down and saw his breasts.  
'_Huh,_' He thought, '_Wasn't expecting that._'  
--

Several miles away, in the village of Konoha, in the Hyuuga compound, in the Main House, in the bedroom of the Heir of the Hyuuga family, Sasuke's body lay asleep – far from its original owner.  
--

Sasuke swung his legs over the side of the bed and stepped over a thin, pale man who gurgled in his sleep.  
Sasuke nearly stumbled uncharacteristically. He felt strange. Unbalanced. He glanced down at his breasts again – no wonder. Hinata was a well-endowed young lady.  
He walked into the bathroom and shut the door.  
He looked into the mirror and stared at the girl looking back.

She was familiar-looking but Sasuke couldn't place a name.  
Hyuuga, he realized. She had the memorable white eyes.  
"Hinata." Sasuke said outloud. Hinata's voice sans her usual stutter and soft quality.

As Sasuke stared at the girl in the mirror, Suigetsu awoke with a start.  
He'd just heard a voice that he didn't recognize.  
Suigetsu jumped up and scanned the room.

Karin was there, a trail of drool on her chin. Juugo was there, muttering something about 'the birds'.  
The bed was empty, Suigetsu realized.  
_Where was Sasuke?  
-- _

Back in Konoha, Hinata awoke, stretching languorously.  
She pulled her hands through her long, silky hair.  
No – her short spiky hair.  
Hinata's hands stopped in shock, feeling her hair. 

'_What happened to my hair!? Is this a prank? Is this some sick joke? Who came into my room and cut off my hair!?_' Hinata's sleep-groggy brain whirled, '_And why are my clothes so tight!?_'  
She jumped out of bed and fell flat on her face.  
Hinata sprang back up and scrambled into her bathroom.

When she saw the face in the mirror, she screamed.  
At first she screamed because she thought she was looking out a window and Uchiha Sasuke – the S-class missing-nin – was staring back at her.  
Then she screamed because she realized she was looking into a mirror and Uchiha Sasuke was staring back at her.  
--

Sasuke didn't even blink when Suigetsu crashed through the bathroom door.  
"Who _are_ _**you**_!?" Suigetsu roared, pointing at Sasuke.  
Sasuke turned and looked back at him.  
Suigetsu giggled and blushed.

The cute, well-endowed young woman looking back at him was wearing Sasuke's very open shirt.  
Very very very open shirt.  
Sasuke hadn't really cared before. He was more concerned with the fact that he _had_ breasts than the fact that he was flaunting them in front of everyone.

Sasuke sighed and closed his shirt, "Stop drooling, Suigetsu. You're getting as bad as Karin."  
Suigetsu wiped his mouth, "Who _are_ you?"  
"It's me." Sasuke said, glaring at Suigetsu, "Who else?"  
"S-sasuke…?"  
"Of course."  
"What…? I mean… why're you doing a transformation technique? Are we doing something today?"

Sasuke turned back to the mirror, "I'm not doing a transformation technique. I woke up like this – in this woman's body."  
"You woke up like _that_?" Suigetsu asked, wondering what Sasuke had eaten before sleeping, "Y-you're… uh… _she's_ hot, man. Do you know her?"  
"Yes… she's a kunoichi from my hometown – Konoha. Hyuuga Hinata."  
Suigetsu whistled, "They make them nice in Konoha. I need to make a visit there sometime…"  
"Hmm…"  
"Cool eyes, too. Not too far off from the color of my hair." Suigetsu grinned, "Kinda hot."  
Sasuke ignored Suigetsu and said out loud, "If I woke up in her body then that must mean that she's waking up in my body…"  
--

"_HINATA-SAMA!_" Neji yelled, kicking in Hinata's bedroom door, "What's wrong!?"  
Hinata stumbled out of the bathroom, weeping, "N-neji-niichan…?"  
Neji roared and flung several kunai at the S-Class missing-nin, Uchiha Sasuke who was standing in his cousin's bedroom, "HINATA!? WHERE ARE YOU!?"  
"NO!" Hinata cried, managing to dodge the kunai, "S-STOP! PLEASE!"  
Neji stared at the fifteen-year-old boy who was weeping and pleading for mercy – that was not the way Uchiha Sasuke acted.

"I-It's m-me… N-neji!" Hinata sobbed, "H-hinata! I… I woke up l-like this…"  
She gulped and buried her face in her hands, "W-what do I… do?"  
Neji activated his Byakugan and realized with horror that Sasuke was speaking the truth – the chakra signature in his body was not that of Uchiha Sasuke but of Hinata!  
"H-how?" Neji whispered, "How could this have happened?"  
Hinata shook her head, "N-niichan…" She looked up, horror on her face, "If I have his body…"  
Neji gasped, "Then he has yours!"  
--

Suigetsu's door-exploding and yelling escapades had woken the other two members of Hebi.  
Karin did a double-take when she saw Sasuke but didn't over react.  
"Aren't you surprised?" Suigetsu asked, seeing her lack of reaction.  
"I can tell it's Sasuke in there." Karin said, "I sense his chakra signature…"

Juugo's eyes went wide and he blushed furiously when he saw Sasuke.  
"Y-you're in the body of a kunoichi from your hometown…?" Juugo asked, "S-so she really exists?"  
"Indeed." Sasuke said, "She's out there… walking around in my body."  
--

"Okay, let's go to the Hokage." Neji said, "I'm sure she'll know what to do! We'll sent a message back to your father, telling him where we went. Let's go."  
"I-I can't go out like this!" Hinata said, "Look at my clothes!"  
Sure enough, her clothes were too tight over Sasuke's well-muscled body.  
"I'll let you borrow something."  
Hinata blushed furiously, "A-and… some underwear… t-these panties are… _killing me_."  
Neji made a face, "Just go to my room and pick something out, okay? And afterwards… burn the underwear. I… I won't have any use for them after having been on Uchiha Sasuke's body…"  
Neji shuddered in disgust, "And we never speak of panties again!"  
--

"Do you have any extra clothing?" Sasuke asked Karin when Suigetsu and Juugo left to get breakfast, "I can't walk around in my regular clothes."  
Sasuke kept forgetting to close his shirt and kept accidentally flashing Suigetsu and Juugo, leaving them blushing, giggling idiots.  
Karin stared at Sasuke's breasts jealously. She wished she was that curvaceous.

"N-nothing that'd fit that body." Karin sniffed, "But I can go find something…"  
"Make it quick." Sasuke said, "I'll be waiting here."  
He grabbed a senbon – a shinobi needle weapon – and used it to close his shirt, "Try and get back before the other two."  
--

Hinata blushed and kept her eyes to the ceiling as she undressed and redressed Sasuke's body.  
She nearly screamed when her hand brushed against something as she tugged up the underwear.  
"Oh god…" Hinata whispered as she realized what she touched, "I… I have a… dick…"  
Tears filled Sasuke's black eyes and spilled over onto his handsome face, "I don't want to be Sasuke!" Hinata wailed.  
--

Sasuke peered down at Hinata's body, examining it with interest.  
He wasn't blind and he still had some sort of sexual drive in spite of his obsession with finding and killing his brother.  
Hinata was a healthy specimen. Sasuke had never noticed before because she always hid her body beneath her thick jacket and formless pants.  
But Hinata was very nicely built – all rounded, curvy edges and soft bits.  
"Tch." He said out loud, "If Hinata showed her body to that moron, Naruto, he'd be all over her."  
Sasuke shook his head.  
Still, nice body or not, he missed his dick.  
--

Neji pushed a cap onto Sasuke's head and shoved a pair of sunglasses onto his face, "Just keep your head down and follow me. We'll run over the rooftops and we'll be at the Hokage's before you know it, okay?"  
Hinata nodded wordlessly.  
"Good. Let's go."

Neji pulled Hinata along behind him, looking around to make sure no one saw them or really noticed them.  
They were making good time and they would soon be at the Hokage's door in moments.

Suddenly there was a flash of orange and a cry as Neji collided with someone else.  
"Watch where you're going!" A familiar voice barked, "I'm in a hurry, Neji. I don't appreciate you getting in my way."  
"You got in my way." Neji snapped, before he could stop himself, "Naruto."  
Naruto sneered, "I thought you were supposed to have the 'good eyes'."  
Neji narrowed his pale eyes.

"What're you in such a hurry for, anyway?" Naruto asked, "And who is… that…?"  
Hinata kept her head bowed, "H-hyuuga… uh… Jin." She said, lowering her voice to sound different from Sasuke's usual tone.  
Naruto tilted his head, trying to see the obscured face, "Why're you hiding your face?"  
"Why does Kakashi-sensei hide his face?" Neji asked quickly, "It's the cool thing to do, I guess. We've got to go. Nice to see you this morning, Naruto. Have a good day."

Neji pulled Hinata past Naruto, realizing his mistake too late.  
"N-no!" Hinata cried as Naruto knocked off her cap.  
"I can't stand when people hide themselves." Naruto said, laughing, "Cool or… or…"

Naruto stared at the face of his best friend.  
Naruto's face was pale. His breathing was irregular.  
"S-sasuke…?"  
Neji attacked before Naruto could fully understand what he was seeing.  
"RUN!" Neji cried, shoving Hinata away, "I'll distract him!"

Hinata nodded and began running at top speed, her hat now long gone, Sasuke's noticeable black hair flying in the wind.  
-

"SASUKE!" Naruto cried as Neji began aiming punches and kicks.  
"WHAT'S GOING ON!?" Naruto demanded as he dodged a punch aimed at his stomach and failed to dodge a kick to the back of the knee.  
"It's not what you think!" Neji said, "It's not Sasuke-kun!"  
Naruto roared as Neji landed another hit, "Why're you attacking me!?"  
"Because if I don't stop you, you'll go after her and she needs to see the Hokage!"

"You moron!" Naruto yelled, "And you think the guards will just let him waltz into the Administration Building?"  
Neji stumbled backwards, realizing the truth in Naruto's words, "H-hinata-sama!"  
"HINATA!?"  
-

Hinata ran, oblivious to the people on the street who saw her – _him_!  
Oblivious until she heard…  
"UCHIHA SASUKE!" Someone yelled, "He's a dangerous criminal! Someone! Call ANBU!"  
"Eeeek!" A woman screamed, pulling her child off of the street.  
"Has he come to kill us all?"  
"What's going on?"  
"Are we under attack?"  
"I-is Orochimaru here, too!?"  
"Oh no! Another attack!"  
Hinata wanted to stop and assure everyone that she wasn't _really_ Uchiha Sasuke but she didn't think they'd believe her if she told them who she was so she ran faster.  
-

"It's not an attack!" Naruto yelled to the people as he ran after Hinata, "It's not what you think!"  
"It's a technique!" Neji was calling out as he followed Naruto, "Calm down! There is no attack! Orochimaru is not in the village!"  
"We apologize for the distress!" Naruto said, "Please do not overreact. There is no dangerous situation!"  
-

Hinata knew she couldn't just walk into the Administration Building and while she would never dream of doing something so disrespectful as crash through a window into the Hokage's office, desperate times called for desperate measures.  
Hinata crashed through a window into the Hokage's office.  
"Godaime-sama!" Hinata cried as several ANBU surrounded her, appearing from no where, "D-Don't attack!" Hinata screamed, covering her face.

"Stop!" Neji cried, jumping through the broken window.  
"What's going on!?" Tsunade yelled, still trying to understand the fact that Uchiha Sasuke had just jumped into the room, crying like a girl.  
"Don't attack him!" Naruto shouted, jumping through the broken window.  
"Her!" Neji corrected, "It's Hyuuga Hinata-sama, Hokage!"

"Everyone FREEZE!" Tsunade yelled.  
Everyone froze.

Tsunade stood up from her desk and pushed a couple of ANBU aside.  
There, in the middle, sitting on the floor was Uchiha Sasuke, trying to hold back his weeping.  
He looked up at her and sobbed loudly.

"S-sasuke…" Naruto whispered.  
"It's not!" Neji said, "It's Hinata-sama. Something happened to her! She's in Uchiha Sasuke's body."  
'_Hyuuga Hinata is trapped in Uchiha Sasuke's body?_' Tsunade thought, '_That explains why Sasuke's crying so much…_ _and here I thought he was just proving me right when I said he was a scared little girl…_'  
--

Sasuke sneezed suddenly and sighed.  
Karin was taking too long and Suigetsu and Juugo hadn't made a reappearance either. He was getting hungry.  
It was then that he realized he felt the strange sensation of being watched.  
Sasuke moved Hinata's white eyes around the room.  
There! In the window! Sasuke realized. Two heads were doing a terrible job of hiding as they… _peeped_!?

Sasuke sneered and appeared at the window before the two could realize he'd caught them.  
"I sent you to get breakfast you perverts!" Sasuke hissed, opening the window, "_NOT_ stand outside my window and peek at me!"  
The senbon keeping his shirt closed fell out and his shirt flapped open and fell off his – _her_ – shoulders.

Juugo and Suigetsu knew that if they stood there and stared at the glory before them, Sasuke would kill them.  
It would be worth it, though.

Sasuke shoved Hinata's small fists into their faces.  
Juugo toppled backwards. Suigetsu's head exploded into a watery mass.  
"I'm back!" Karin called from the door, "I got a couple of changes of clothes and some panties!"  
Sasuke turned to her, his shirt still hanging off.

"No need to brag!" Karin said, "Here – I'll help you wrap the twins."  
In the bushes outside the room, the two still-male members of Hebi shuffled off to retrieve breakfast. Their faces hurt and Juugo was bleeding profusely but they had been right. It had been worth it.

**TBC**

* * *

Hey all! I hope this wasn't too confusing. I really liked P.R Gurl's idea of the body switch, specifically with Sasuke and Hinata.  
And I thought, "What if it happened when Sasuke was with Hebi...?"  
Hmmmm! 

More to come.  
Reviews are always welcome.

-4ng3legg

Hey, I hear an official picture of Uzumaki Kushina surfaced. There's a link to it in my profile.


	2. Hinata's Not So Little Problem

"What can you tell us?"  
"Well… Sasuke is a very healthy boy." Tsunade said, scratching her head, "He's got no injuries or health problems."  
Hinata slumped visibly, "C-can you… fix me… Godaime-sama…?"  
"I don't know how." Tsunade sighed, "As far as I can tell it's not a transformation technique. It's possible that it's a ninjutsu of some sort – no doubt forbidden. You are in Sasuke's body, Hinata-chan. I don't know much more than that…"  
Sasuke's eyes looked in danger of drowning, "B-but this is just a superficial check." Tsunade continued before Hinata could begin wailing, "I'm sure we'll find out more when we do a complete check up."

"Don't worry." Neji murmured to his cousin, "I'll stay with you, okay? I'll stick by your side, Hinata-sama."  
Hinata nodded Sasuke's raven-haired head and wiped Sasuke's glistening eyes, "O-okay… niichan…"  
"No can do." Tsunade said, "Sorry, Neji-kun – you're due to accompany your team on a B-ranked mission. You can't just drop out."  
"Can't you send someone in my place?" Neji asked.  
"Nope – your Byakugan is specifically needed in this mission. Sorry."

"I'll stay with him." Naruto said, before laughing nervously when he saw the look of dismay on Sasuke's face, "Sorry, Hinata-chan, I meant, 'her'."  
A muscle in Neji's face twitched, "N-no… maybe she should just stay at home…"  
"Where she can be attacked by ninja who would think this is a plan of Sasuke's?" Tsunade asked, "Oh no, Hinata-chan is staying right here in this building where I can keep an eye on him-_her!_" Tsunade sighed, "Sorry."  
Hinata shook her head, "I-its okay…"

"Naruto… you don't have any assigned missions. You can stay and keep an eye on Sa-uh, Hinata-chan!"  
"Maybe someone else should stay with Hinata-sama." Neji insisted, "Like Haruno Sakura or Yamanaka Ino…"  
"Good idea, genius." Naruto said, rolling his eyes, "Make Sasuke's biggest fans sit in a room with his body, yea, that sounds like a great way for Sas-uh, _Hinata_ to get _molested_!"  
"M-molested!?" Hinata shrieked, "I don't want to get molested!"  
"No one is getting molested." Tsunade barked, smacking Naruto in the head, "Don't scare him-_her_, Blondie!"

"D-don't worry…" Hinata murmured, Sasuke's strong voice reduced to a stuttering, whispering mockery of itself, "N-neji-niichan… I… I'll stay with… N-naruto-kun…"  
"Good! Then it's settled." Tsunade said, ignoring the bright red blush on Sasuke's face as Hinata glanced nervously at Naruto.  
--

Sasuke eyed the panties with distaste.  
He felt he needed a knowledge of getting them off someone elses body – _not_ putting them onto his own.  
Well, the body he was occupying anyway.

Karin had taken a roll of gauze and wrapped Hinata's chest tight enough for Sasuke to feel slightly dizzy, "Does it have to be so tight?" Sasuke asked.  
"Yup." Karin nodded sagely, "With as much running as we do, you don't want those melons jiggling around, smacking you in the face – you could sustain brain-damage, getting knocked out like that. Or, you know, knock out a tooth. Plus – you don't want to go getting saggy – you gotta keep the ladies tight to keep gravity at bay."

Sasuke had felt that this was a disturbing conversation but he certainly learned something new.  
He had no idea a woman could knock herself out with her own breasts.  
It didn't seem likely with someone like Sakura who didn't seem to have much in the way of boobs but with Hinata's bounty, it sounded like it could happen.

After Sasuke dressed, Karin sat him down and brushed his – _her­_ – long hair.  
"I feel like a little girl." Karin said as she began braiding his hair, "Like I've got my own doll."  
Sasuke grunted, "Why are you braiding my hair?"  
"You don't want it in your face, do you? No – you're not used to long hair getting all in your way." Karin explained, "It'll just be easier to wear it pulled back."  
Sasuke stopped her before she could get the sparkly butterfly clips on.

By then, Suigetsu and Juugo had returned with breakfast, looking greatly disappointed at the loss of Sasuke's very open shirt.  
"Can I put some makeup on you?" Karin asked after they ate breakfast, "Please?"  
Sasuke glared at her, "No."  
"Since it's not really your body, can I touch your boob?" Suigetsu asked.

Sasuke suppressed a shudder, "As long as I occupy this body, you are not to go within a mile of my boobs. And if anyone's hand gets precariously close, they'll pull back a bloody stump. Do you understand?"  
Suigetsu's sneaky hand darted away from Sasuke.  
Sasuke was glad Juugo was there. Sure, he peeped but when Sasuke was in the same room, he remained quiet and seemed content to just admire the view. At least someone was still relatively normal.  
--

Hinata sat in a room, alone, with Uzumaki Naruto.  
They were awaiting a team of doctors from the hospital and Tsunade.  
Naruto couldn't keep his eyes off her face.  
Correction – _his_ face.  
It was almost her dream-come-true except for the major fact that her body wasn't there to enjoy it.

Sasuke's body, however, seemed to want to take up the challenge.  
Hinata had never thought about it but with as much as she liked Naruto, she obviously felt aroused towards him.  
Her woman's body didn't react the same as Sasuke's very male body.  
Hinata didn't realize what was happening, of course, because it was a completely new feeling to be sexually aroused in a man's body.  
She felt funny, as her groin tightened when she looked at Naruto.

'_Oh no… what's happening now…?_'  
Naruto, however, began to see evidence of Hinata's arousal.  
"H-hinata…?" Naruto whispered, trying not to look at the tent in Sasuke's pants.  
"Are you okay?" He croaked.  
Hinata flushed, "W-what's happening…?"  
Naruto swallowed, "You… seem to be… excited."  
Hinata wanted to die. She understood. She had an erection.

Instead she curled into a ball of misery and tried to remember a conversation she overheard between Kiba and Shino.

"_It's distracting – especially when you're fighting a hot female ninja and you realize, 'Oh great, I've got a boner.'" Kiba said, "You know what I do in that situation?"  
Shino didn't know and Shino didn't want to know.  
"I think of sad things or gross things like dead puppies – sorry, Akamaru – or my grandma."_

Hinata decided that this would be a great time to take Kiba's advice.  
Naruto didn't ask when he heard Sasuke's voice murmuring, 'Dead puppies… grandma… dead puppies… grandma…"  
--

"We're heading for Konoha." Sasuke announced, "I can't fight my brother like this. I need my body back."  
"What're you planning to do with the girl?" Suigetsu asked.  
"How do you plan on getting your body back?" Karin asked.  
"What's going to happen to the girl?" Juugo asked.

Sasuke sighed, "I don't know how to get my body back yet… but I'll figure something out."  
Suigetsu and Juugo were silent for a moment before they both asked, "And the girl?"  
Sasuke narrowed Hinata's wide white eyes, "She is not my concern."  
Suigetsu and Juugo thought she looked even cuter than before – even with all that murderous intent in her eyes!  
-

Sasuke and the group left the inn and headed towards the village of Konoha.  
They had no idea that a two-member team was also making their way towards Konoha – in search of a certain blond Jinchuuriki.  
--

Hinata was relieved to find that her not-so-little problem had finally gone away after several tense minutes of trying to imagine dead puppies and her old wrinkly grandmother.  
She was relaxing slightly when a knock sounded at the door.  
"Must be the doctors…" Naruto said, approaching the door, "Who is it?"  
"Yo."  
"Oh, it's just Kakashi-sensei." Naruto said, smiling at Hinata.

Hinata's eyes opened wide, "M-maybe you shouldn't…"  
Naruto pulled open the door, "Hey, Kakashi-sensei…"  
Kakashi walked into the room, "Hey, I heard what happened from Tsunade-sama…"  
Hinata burned bright red, "K-kakashi-sensei…"

The secret Hinata never told _anyone_ about and that no one ever figured out was:  
Even though Hinata had a very obvious crush on Naruto, she also had a very quiet school-girl crush on Kakashi.  
Now – the secret was out or rather, it was standing up in Sasuke's pants.

Kakashi and Naruto stared at Sasuke, his bright red face and his obvious arousal.  
"Uh…"  
"GET OUT!" Hinata screamed, "JUST GET OUT!"  
-

"Does she not have control of his body?" Kakashi asked Naruto as they stood outside the room, unsure of what to do.  
Naruto shrugged, "I guess not. He… _she_ kept getting a boner when I was in there…"  
Kakashi sighed. Naruto was stupid sometimes.  
"Well, _duh_ – Hinata-chan has had a crush on you since forever. I figured she couldn't control her body because she got aroused when she saw me." Kakashi said reasonably.  
Naruto stared up at his sensei, "Hinata-chan has a crush on me!?"

"Hmm…" Kakashi said, deciding not to mock Naruto for his slowness.  
"I had no idea!" Naruto continued, "Since when!?"  
Kakashi rolled his visible eye, "Anyway…"  
"Then it only serves to reason that if she became aroused when she saw me because she has a crush on me…" Naruto said suddenly, "Then she became aroused when she saw you because she also has a crush on you!"  
Kakashi's visible eye opened wide, "What…?" He hadn't been expecting that.

"I CAN HEAR YOU!" Sasuke's voice yelled, making the two male ninjas jump, "I SAID, GO AWAY!"  
"Now that sounds like Sasuke…" Kakashi said, "Sorry, Hinata-chan…"  
"GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!"

Naruto pulled on Kakashi's arm, "Let's go before she learns how to activate Sharingan and kills us…"  
When the two were far enough away, Kakashi stopped, "I have an idea!"  
"What…?"  
"To see if our theories are correct, Naruto." Kakashi said, "If Hinata only becomes aroused when seeing either of us, then she probably won't get like that if it's some other guy…"

A smiling dark-haired Chuunin approached, "Good morning, Naruto. Kakashi-san."  
Kakashi's visible eye smiled, "Perfect."  
"What're you doing here, Iruka-sensei?" Naruto asked.  
"It's the Administration Building, Naruto." Iruka said, "I have reports to file…"  
"Before you do, though, can you help us with something…?" Kakashi asked.

Iruka smiled. He was always willing to help!  
"Sure – what do you need?"  
-

Hinata's second problem had finally gone away and she was finally beginning to relax.  
She heard footsteps outside the room and she wished she had Byakugan to see what was happening.  
There were muffled voices and then the door opened, "G-godaime-sama…?"  
"Hey!" A familiar voice cried as a body flew into the room. The door slammed shut and Hinata stared at the man lying on the floor.  
"Real nice, Kakashi!" Iruka yelled as he got to his feet, "What is the matter with that weirdo…?"

It was then that Iruka saw Uchiha Sasuke.  
Iruka had no idea of the situation and in fact thought he was now standing in a room with a dangerous missing-nin.  
He wondered if Kakashi had thrown him in there as some sort of sacrifice.  
"S-s-saas-s-suu…" Iruka managed to gurgle before Sasuke jumped off the chair he was sitting in and launched himself at Iruka.  
"OH CRAP!" Iruka yelled as Sasuke's arms encircled him, '_What kind of fighting technique is this!?_'

"IRUKA-SENSEI!!!!" Hinata cried as she hugged him, "WHAT'S WRONG WITH MEEEEE?"  
Iruka stood there, in total shock, as Sasuke hugged him and cried.  
Sasuke… hugging and _crying_?

"S-sasuke-kun…?"  
Hinata looked up at Iruka, "N-no, Iruka-sensei… it… its Hyuuga Hinata! I… I woke up… i-in… S-sasuke-kun's body…"  
"Really!?" Iruka asked, "Oh jeez…" He sagged in relief, "I thought you were going to kill me!"  
Hinata shook her head, "W-why'd you come in if you d-didn't know it was me…?"  
"Not that I don't care, Hinata-chan, but I had no idea what was happening! Kakashi and Naruto grabbed me when I came into the building and threw me in here."

Sasuke's eyes filled with tears, "They're stupid!" Hinata said, "Stupid dumb boys who… who…" Sasuke's lip trembled, "Oh, Iruka-sensei, I don't know what to do! I woke up in stupid Sasuke-kun's body and Neji-niichan nearly killed me when he saw me and if I'm in Sasuke-kun's body then Sasuke-kun must be in my body and who knows what he's doing to my booooody!?" She gasped for air, "And then I had to change my clothes because my panties were too tight and I have to wear Neji's underwear which is just weird on so many different levels. And then Neji took me to the Hokage but stupid-Naruto crashed into us and knocked off my cap and he saw me and thought I was Sasuke because technically I _am_ Sasuke and then I ran off to the Hokage and the ANBU nearly killed me and Tsunade scared me…" Hinata took another deep breath, "And then Neji said he was going to stay with me but Tsunade-sama said he had to go on a mission so Naruto said he would stay with me and at first it was okay but Naruto keeps calling me 'him' or 'Sasuke' and I got an erection, Iruka-sensei when I couldn't stop thinking about me and Naruto in a room together, alone and then I remembered Kiba-kun saying that it happens all the time and I thought of dead puppies and Grandma Hyuuga and it went away and then stupid-Kakashi-sensei walked in and I got another ooooone!" Sasuke's face was a little blue and Hinata staggered to a chair and flopped down, "I-Iruka-sensei…?"

Iruka tried to ignore the fact that he heard 'panties' and then the word 'erection' in connection with Naruto and Kakashi.  
"Don't cry, Hinata-chan…" Iruka said calmly, "Surely Tsunade-sama is doing something to remedy the situation, yes?"  
Hinata covered her face, "Y-yes… I'm w-waiting f-for doctors…"  
"There you go, I'm sure they'll find a way to… fix this!"  
Hinata sniffled, "B-but… what about my body…? S-sasuke-kun has my _body_…"  
--

Sasuke wished he didn't have Hinata's body.  
Her proportions were throwing off his balance and he kept nearly tipping over as they ran through the woods.  
'_How does she move around with these things!?_' Sasuke wondered, glancing down at his tightly-bound chest, '_How is not suffering from serious back problems? This must be how Tsunade feels…_'

Sasuke was also annoyed that Suigetsu and Juugo were running directly behind him.  
He wished Karin had gotten looser clothing. Now he understood why Hinata always wore those thick, formless clothes – if she wore anything tighter, all the men of Konoha would be drooling idiots!  
"S-sasuke!" Karin called, dragging Sasuke from his thoughts, "Someone is approaching… no… two people are approaching… both with _enormous_ chakra!"

**TBC**

* * *

Dun-dun-duuuuuuun... but you already know who it is, don't you?

Yeaaaa. You do.

I think Iruka is AWESOME and very understanding. Maybe Hinata had a crush on him when she was little but now he's just the awesome teacher you can go to when things are bad.  
Iruka luv

Mm, this isn't really a SasuHina story and in fact, I have no idea what pairings I might come up with...  
Mm, but expect a little more drama soon...

Thanks for the lovely reviews. You peoples are the awesomest of the awesome!

-4ng3legg


	3. Meetings

"Well, what do we have here?"  
Sasuke landed in the clearing of a densely wooded forest.  
Karin, Juugo and Suigetsu landed behind him.

Sasuke promptly forgot his current physical status and boldly walked forward towards a blue-skinned man holding a huge wrapped sword. Slumped over the sword, legs' dangling in the air was an old man with a dark mark on his face.  
"Where is he?"  
Kisame grinned and peered at Sasuke curiously, "And who might you be?"

Sasuke raised one of Hinata's carefully sculpted eyebrows and suddenly remembered his lack of his own body.  
Sasuke's mind whirled, "Who are you?"  
Kisame's eyes moved as he looked at the people behind Sasuke, "My partner and I were traveling when we decided to take a break." Kisame said simply, his eyes returning to Sasuke's face.  
No – _Hinata's face_! Kisame's eyes moved slowly down to her generous chest and further down.  
Sasuke only felt slightly disgusted.

"Where is your partner?" Sasuke asked slowly.  
Kisame only smiled, "He'll return. Do you… know him?"  
"No but I know her eyes…" A soft voice said from the shadows of the trees.  
Sasuke felt a chill of hatred run up his spine. It took all his willpower not to run towards the sound of the voice, sword out.  
"Her eyes?" Kisame repeated, "They are a little odd…"  
"They are a bloodline limit." Itachi said, stepping out in the clearing, "Of the Hyuuga family from Konoha."  
--

Hinata felt a chill run up her spine. She shivered and sighed deeply as the doctors continued running tests on Sasuke's body.  
They took vials of blood and samples and hair samples and swabbed the inside of her – Sasuke's – cheek.  
The worst had to have been when she was told to pee in a cup.  
She asked Iruka to stand outside the bathroom door to 'tell her what do'.  
She emerged, looking pale and horrified.

All the time, Iruka stayed by her, even canceling his classes for the day just so he could support her.  
Kakashi curled up in a chair and became engrossed in his little orange book.  
Naruto stood outside the room Hinata was in, loyal as a puppy, begging to be let in, apologizing for offending him-_her_.  
Iruka sighed, knowing how much Naruto was restraining himself from yelling and kicking the door in. He murmured words of encouragement and offered Hinata advice as to how to keep her problem down and Hinata allowed Naruto to reenter the room.  
Naruto was understandably nervous.  
He kept his distance.

"D-do you need anything… Hinata-chan…?"  
"N-no, thank you, Naruto-kun." Hinata whispered her face slightly pink.  
"Excuse me," Iruka said, moving towards the door, "I need to visit the little Chuunin's Room."  
Naruto and Hinata sat in silence, both wanting to talk.  
Neither finding the courage to start.  
--

Sasuke smiled. It was genuine.  
The man he was searching for was standing _right there_.  
Itachi's eyes moved over the four strangers.  
"Am I correct?" Itachi asked.  
Sasuke nodded slowly, "I am Hyuuga."  
"You look familiar." Itachi said, "You look around the age of my brother – perhaps you know him?"

Sasuke shrugged, "Who is your brother?"  
"Uchiha Sasuke."  
Sasuke shrugged again, "I didn't get out much. I'm not a Konoha citizen anymore, anyway. I don't keep in touch with anyone from there."  
Itachi and Kisame exchanged a glance.  
"You don't have the branch-family mark on your head." Itachi said suddenly, "You're Hyuuga Main House."  
Sasuke's mind whirled. What mark? There was a mark identifying Hyuuga Main House from Branch Family?

"Was." Sasuke said simply, "Not anymore."  
"You managed to get away from the Hyuuga." Itachi continued, "That must have been hard."  
"Easier than you think…" Sasuke murmured.

Suigetsu was smiling widely.  
He had been since they stopped in front of Kisame.  
Kisame kept eyeing the huge sword Suigetsu carried.  
"Hoshigaki Kisame and his great sword, Samehada." Suigetsu finally said.  
Kisame tilted his head, "Do I know you…?"

"Don't you remember me? I'm Houzuki Mangetsu's brother, Houzuki Suigetsu."  
Kisame smiled in spite of himself, "Are you now? I didn't even recognize you! You've really grown, Suigetsu."  
Suigetsu smiled, showing his sharp teeth, "If you have some time, Kisame-sempai, let's say you and I reacquaint ourselves." He reached back to release the huge sword on his back, "Hm?"  
Kisame grinned, his eyes moving to Itachi, "Do we have time?"  
Itachi glanced skywards, then at the old man on Kisame's sword, "No… not right now. We must be going…"

"Y-you're just going to let us go?" Karin asked suddenly, surprised.  
Itachi's eyes moved to her, "Are you planning on attacking us? Is there a reason we should attack you?"  
Karin shook her head, "N-no…"

"Kisame-sempai," Suigetsu said, "I want to fight you. I won't let you go until I do."  
Itachi and Kisame stared at the sharp-toothed man.  
Sasuke smiled, "Allow us to accompany you. Suigetsu-_kun_ will not stop complaining until he gets his fight."  
Itachi frowned, "No, that's not possible."  
"Please." Sasuke said, trying to remember how Sakura or Ino would give him that stupid-girl look.

He opened his eyes wide and blinked a couple of times, "Please?"  
Itachi's face held no emotion.  
Kisame laughed, "Oh my."  
"Go home to Konoha." Itachi said simply, "You can have your fight with Kisame _soon_."  
"How soon?" Suigetsu asked.

"Soon enough." Kisame said, smiling, "Tell you what. Meet us… in two weeks – ten miles west from Konoha. We'll have our fight there."  
Sasuke frowned. He wanted to kill Itachi now but he was weak in Hinata's body.  
She may be powerful but he had no idea how to use her abilities.  
He needed his own body.  
He wasn't stupid and he could be patient for two weeks.

"Yes." He said, "In two weeks."  
Suigetsu looked angry but he agreed, "Two weeks, Sempai. Better get your things in order."  
Kisame laughed, long and loud.  
Itachi remained impassive.

Sasuke gestured to his Team and they jumped into the trees.  
Itachi and Kisame watched them as they left.  
"Two weeks to prepare." Kisame said, still smiling, "That kid… but… it'll be fun to shave a few layers off of him."  
Itachi glanced at him, "The Hyuuga girl – there was something about her…"  
"Oh ho ho! Did Itachi-san find a girl worthy of his affection? I never thought I'd see the day." Kisame laughed loudly, "Looking forward to seeing her in two weeks?"  
Itachi's left eyebrow rose but he didn't reply.  
--

Hinata shivered. A sudden feeling of apprehension washed over her.  
"Are you okay?" Naruto asked, "Hinata-chan?"  
Hinata shook her head slowly from side-to-side, "N-no… I'm in the body of a boy I barely know…" She gave him a nervous smile, "I just want to go home and go to sleep."  
"Sorry but you can't." Tsunade said, "You'll stay in the hospital tonight."  
"T-the hospital…?" Hinata whispered, "I-I don't want to stay there. W-why can't I go home?"

"It's too risky." Tsunade said softly, "I'm sorry. I can't think of any place else – you can't stay with me because the ANBU are convinced you're really Sasuke trying to kill me."  
"She can stay with me." Iruka said before Naruto could, "I'll keep an eye on her."  
"Iruka-sensei! Where did you come from!? Wait! N-no! She can stay with me!" Naruto called.  
Tsunade's eyebrows rose, "Hmm… well, how about this? Both Hinata and Naruto stay with Iruka. Instead of one person watching over her – it'll be two. Okay?"  
Iruka smiled, "That sounds fine." He squeezed Hinata's shoulder, "Sound okay to you?"  
Hinata nodded slowly, "Y-yes…"

"Good. It's settled. You can go. Bring her in early tomorrow." Tsunade told Iruka.  
Iruka touched Sasuke's hand and Hinata immediately blushed, "Come on, Hinata-chan. Let's go."  
"Y-yes, Sensei…"

Iruka pulled a cloak over Hinata and handed her the sunglasses she wore before.  
"Keep your head down." Iruka said, "Don't worry, okay? We'll walk calmly and no one will even notice us."  
Hinata wanted to laugh.  
It was Murphy's Law! Whatever _could_ go wrong, _will_ go wrong. And so many things _could_ go wrong!

Beside her, Naruto squeezed her shoulder, "I'm sorry for acting so weird, Hinata-chan…"  
Hinata blushed and tried to remember Iruka's advice for not getting excited.  
"It's just that… I _know_ you're not Sasuke b-but… with you here… I… I feel like Sasuke's _is_ here. Except… a lot nicer. Haha." Naruto grinned, "Thank you for not kicking me out completely."  
He moved forward as if he were going to hug her but Hinata slipped past him, her face burning so hot that Iruka wondered where the temperature rise came from, "OhitsokayNarutodon'tevenworryaboutit. ComeonletsgoIrukasenseiNarutokun!"

The three stepped out of the Administration Building and Hinata was surprised to see that the sun was going down.  
'_Had I been in here all day?_' Hinata thought.  
Iruka held her left wrist and Naruto held her right wrist.  
"If anyone asks any questions…" Iruka murmured from the side of his mouth, "Just say that we're transporting a criminal. Don't wait for them to ask questions. Just keep walking – got it?"  
"Hai." Naruto said.  
"H-hai…" Hinata nodded.  
"Head down, Hinata-chan. Let's go."

They walked calmly and while some people gave them a second glance they didn't bother with a third.  
Kakashi walked by, "Goodnight. I'll see you tomorrow." He managed to say without his eye ever leaving his book.  
"Goodnight, Kakashi-sensei." Naruto called.  
"Goodnight, Kakashi-san." Iruka said.  
Hinata nodded.  
Kakashi disappeared in a whirl of leaves.

"What a flashy display!" A female's voice called, "Hey! Naruto! What're you doing?"  
Iruka, Naruto and Hinata all went rigid. They kept walking, their steps just slightly hurried.  
"HEY! Don't ignore me!" Sakura grabbed Naruto's shoulder, "You jerk!"  
"Sakura! Stop playing! Naruto is in the middle of an important mission – we cannot stop walking." Iruka barked, "If you must talk to Naruto then please walk with us."  
"W-what…?" Sakura blushed; embarrassed that she'd inferred the wrath of Iruka.

"We're transporting a criminal." Naruto said, gesturing to the cloaked figure shuffling along between himself and Iruka.  
"J-just… you two? If it's a criminal, shouldn't there be ANBU?"  
"She's not ninja. We can handle her." Naruto said.  
"It's a girl?" Sakura murmured, glancing at the figure, "That's a wide-shouldered girl."  
Beneath the cloak, Hinata blushed.  
"Sakura, do you have any other business? Otherwise, you should be on your way." Iruka said.  
"N-no, Iruka-sensei… I'm sorry." Sakura blushed.

Just then a strong wind blew and Hinata's hood flew back.  
Just before Sakura could see anything, Hinata ducked to the ground, reaching up to pull the hood over her head. Iruka and Naruto were unprepared for her action and the two collided into each other.  
Sakura gasped – the criminal was attempting to get away!

"I've got her!" Sakura called, pulling her fist back.  
"N-NO!" Iruka screamed, feeling dizzy from colliding with Naruto's hard head.  
"DON'T!" Naruto throwing himself in front of Sakura's flying fist.  
Sakura knew the criminal wasn't ninja so she didn't put all her strength into the fist. Still, Naruto was knocked backwards into Hinata and the two crumpled to the ground.

"N-naruto! Why did you…?"  
Hinata's hood had fallen back and her glasses were knocked off her face.  
"Ooh…" Naruto groaned, struggling to sit up, "What's the matter with you, Sakura-chan…? You could have killed her…"  
He looked up. Sakura was standing in shocked silence.

Hinata was knocked out on the floor.  
Iruka was kneeled beside her-_him_, "She hit her head, Naruto, when she fell back. It's a good thing you took most of the damage though, because otherwise Sakura would have thrown her into the wall and probably cracked her head open…"  
"S-s-sa…"  
"Is she going to be okay?" Naruto asked, "She's used to hits – she should have been able to take it."

"Ooh…" Hinata groaned as she began to stir, "My head…"  
"Sasuke."  
Iruka, Naruto and Hinata looked up at Sakura.  
"It's Sasuke…" Sakura said slowly, "W-why do you keep saying _her_!?"  
Hinata felt nauseous, "I'm not S-sasuke-kun…" She groaned, clutching her stomach, "I'm his good twin brother." She laughed and rolled over; burying her face in the floor, "Get it? Because the real Sasuke is the evil one. Get it? Hahahah! Ooh, I think I'm gonna puke!"

"She's delirious!" Iruka said.  
Hinata sat up suddenly, nearly hitting Iruka and Naruto, "I'm fine, Iruka-s-sensei! It's not as if it's my head! Maybe somewhere Sasuke is throwing up and his head is hurting! Hahahahah! Weeee!" She cried, flopping back onto the floor.  
"You knocked the sense right out of her!" Naruto said to Sakura, "Maybe we should take her back to Old Lady Tsunade!"  
"STOP SAYING HER!" Sakura cried, "ITS SASUKE!"

"It's NOT!" Iruka said harshly, "It's Hyuuga Hinata! You've caused enough trouble, Sakura! Please leave!"  
Sakura stared at her normally calm, sweet-natured teacher.  
"I-iruka-sensei…"  
"GO AWAY, SAKURA!" Iruka barked, "I SAID GO AWAY!"

"But it's SASUKE!"  
"Does your giant forehead act as a barrier to your brain!?" Naruto hissed, "Iruka-sensei said to go away! You've already injured Hinata-chan! So _go away_!"  
"My head…" Hinata moaned, "Hahhahha, Naruto fell on me but I didn't get a boner this time, Iruka-sensei. Aren't you proud? Hahahhhahaha, oops! Spoke too soon!"  
"See!? Sasuke doesn't act like this! It's obviously not Sasuke!" Naruto said, helping Hinata up to her feet.  
Iruka pulled the cloak back over Hinata's head, "Come on, it's just a bit of a concussion. I've dealt with them before. We'll fix her up when we get…" He looked at Sakura, "To where we're going."

"I-it's… Sasuke…" Sakura whispered, apparently unwilling to accept what Naruto and Iruka were telling her.  
"SASUKE!" Another voice yelled, "I-it's SASUKE!"  
"Just run! RUN!" Iruka cried when he saw Ino. He pulled Hinata, "RUN!!"

**TBC**

* * *

-sighs- Not my best chapter.  
I don't think its funny enough - except Hinata delirious in Sasuke's body.  
_"Hahaha, oops! Spoke too soon!"_  
But i needed to get the story moving in the direction I wanted so there it goes.

After some rather demanding critiques, I've decided there will be no pairings! Ahhh! Just like the real manga! ahhaahahha!!!

This will be more of a friendship/humor thing with some drama. Yea?  
OK! No romance!

So... Sasuke is coming to Konoha to get his body back.  
Hinata was kncoked senseless.  
Sakura has a big forehead! What's gonna happen next!?  
-4ng3legg 


	4. Sake Always Helps

Iruka and Naruto pulled Hinata along as she laughed wildly, "Oh noooo! Sasuke's fan girls are gonna kill meeeee! Hahhahah!"  
"Grab her!" Iruka commanded Naruto, "I'll distract Ino!"

Ino grabbed Sakura's arm, "What's going on!? Is Sasuke back? Why are Iruka-sensei and Naruto running around with him? Sakura! Tell me what's going on!"  
Sakura stared through the blond as if she were invisible.  
Ino huffed and ran after Iruka, "Senseeeeeiiiiii! Naaaaaarutooooo!"  
Naruto pulled Sasuke's body onto his back and jumped up onto the roof of a nearby building, "Don't sacrifice yourself, Iruka-sensei! It's not worth it!"  
Iruka fought the urge to laugh at the ridiculous situation, "Fly, you fool! Fly!"

Sasuke's voice could be heard laughing as Naruto fled into the night.  
Iruka sighed and resigned himself to his fate.

Ino skidded to a stop in front of him, "What's _wrong_ with everyone!? I'm not gonna pull his arm off! I just want to know what's going _on_!"  
Iruka smiled, "We're not supposed to talk about it, Ino-chan, by order of the Hokage."  
"I won't tell anyone, I promise!"  
Iruka suppressed another laugh, "Ino-chan, you're the biggest gossip in the village!"  
--

Sasuke had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.  
Something was wrong with his body – he could _feel_ it.  
He wanted to know what Hinata could possibly be doing with his precious body.  
"Oh, yea, I'm gonna rip into that guy…" Suigetsu was saying to Juugo, "And then that sword is all mine!"

"We're nearing Konoha." Karin said suddenly, "I can feel a lot of chakra up ahead… a lot of ninja chakra."  
Sasuke nodded, "Juugo, I need you…"  
"WHAT!?" Suigetsu and Juugo screamed, "WHAT ABOUT ME!?" Suigetsu yelled, "I could pleasure you sooo much bet…"  
"…_to send animals ahead to see if they spot my body!_" Sasuke finished, shuddering.  
"You freak!" He hissed at Suigetsu, "I may have breasts but I'm still _UCHIHA SASUKE_! STOP HITTING ON ME!"  
"B-but… you're so hot." Suigetsu whined.  
Juugo did as Sasuke asked and asked a couple of birds to look ahead for Sasuke's body.

Several minutes later the birds returned.  
"What'd they say?" Sasuke asked, still glaring at Suigetsu.  
"They said your body is being dragged around by a blond kid with..."  
"…a stupid face." Sasuke finished, "Naruto… of course."  
Karin exchanged a look with Suigetsu, mouthing, 'Blond kid with a stupid face?'  
Suigetsu shrugged, "So, should we get a move on? We've got… bodies to take… I guess…"  
Sasuke remained quiet in thought.

"So…" Karin said slowly, "Who is Naruto?"  
"My stupid best friend." Sasuke said, "If my body is in Konoha, no doubt Naruto zeroed in on it. That moron is going to be trouble to deal with…"  
"And he's your _best friend_?" Juugo asked.  
"My best damn friend in the whole damn world." Sasuke said, "Idiot knows me better than anyone."  
"If that's the way you talk about your best friend, I'd hate to hear what you say about your worst enemy." Karin said.

"You know what I say about my worst enemy." Sasuke said, Hinata's voice dangerously soft, "I'm going to kill him."  
"And are you going to kill your best friend, too?"  
"If he keeps getting in my way, _yes_." Sasuke hissed, "Let's go! I've got a body to retrieve."  
"So how do you plan on switching your body back?" Karin asked as they resumed their travel, "Do you have a plan?"  
Sasuke's eyebrow rose, "Not to switch, no. But I'm definitely getting my body back."  
Juugo looked at Suigetsu, "Did he just say he's going to kidnap the girl who has his body?"  
Suigetsu shrugged, "I've been lost about what's happening since we woke up."  
--

Naruto dragged Hinata to Iruka's apartment and locked the door behind them, "Don't worry, Hinata-chan! I'll protect you from those ravenous girls!"  
"I just want to lie down…" Hinata whispered, yawning deeply, "My head hurts so bad…"  
"I'm not sure you're supposed to lie down when you've got a concussion…" Naruto said thoughtfully, "I can't remember."  
Hinata shrugged, "Does Iruka-sensei have anything to help the pain? Any pain-killers?"

Naruto searched through the cabinets in the kitchen and the bathrooms, "Maybe he's hiding them…" Naruto said, returning to the small kitchen where Hinata sat, "I can't find a thing."  
Hinata groaned and rested her head on the table, "It really hurts, Naruto-kun… maybe an ice pack would help."  
"Yea, I can make one of those." Naruto peered into the icebox, "Here's some ice… oh and some sake! Hey! I bet sake would help, Hinata-chan! I heard from Old Lady Tsunade that alcohol lessens pain."

"R-really? I don't know, Naruto-kun…"  
"I'm sure it'll help." Naruto said, setting the sake in front of Hinata, "Go ahead!"  
Hinata reached for the bottle, holding it gingerly, "A-are you… _sure_?"  
"Yea!"  
Hinata held the tip to Sasuke's lips and took a swig.  
"Yeech!" She nearly spit it out, "T-this tastes… _terrible!_"

"Really? Old Lady Tsunade seems to like it well enough. Try it again."  
"I don't want to."  
"Go on! It's for the pain, Hinata-chan."  
Hinata sighed and touched the back of Sasuke's head where it was slammed against the floor, "Stupid Sakura…"

Naruto stared at Sasuke's face, "H-hinata-chan? Did you just call Sakura… stupid?"  
Hinata grimaced and took another swig. It went down slightly easier, "S-she _is_ stupid. She was going to hit me with her big stupid fist. I could have died!" She took another swig, "Yuck… I wish I wasn't in Sasuke's body. I wish I had my own body, Naruto-kun… because… because…"  
"Because?"  
"It's hot!" Hinata howled, "I gotta take off my shirt."

Naruto laughed, "Go ahead. It's nothing I haven't seen before."  
Hinata smirked, "If… if I was in my body, Naruto-kun… you'd be… like, you'd be all WOW! Because I have… I mean, I'm not bragging…" She took another swig, "Not bad. Not bad. But what I'm saying… see, what I'm saying is that I have a really nice… really really nice pair of…" She held her hands out in front of her chest, "This big. I'm not… not even kidding. I mean… you'd be… all. Over. Me."  
"Really? Wow. I probably would be all over you." Naruto smiled. Hinata was so drunk. She really couldn't hold her liquor. Or Sasuke couldn't hold his liquor. He didn't know which.

Hinata sneered at Naruto, "You… don't you even act like you know what I'm talking about… N-naruto-kun… You… you're stupid, too."  
Naruto frowned, "Okay, I think that's enough sake for you…"  
"Shaddup, I'm talking here!" Hinata snatched the bottle away from Naruto's reach, "I… I've been in love with you… for so long… and you… you never even freaking noticed… you'reasdumbasSakuraandSasuke!" She took a long swig, "And Kakashi-sensei, too…"  
She stood up suddenly and pulled off her shirt, "Jeez… it's so _hot_!"

Naruto reached for the sake bottle, "I wonder where Iruka-sensei is…"  
"Iruka-sensei…" Hinata whispered, flinging the bottle aside, "I miss Iruka-sensei!" She wept, "N-n-naruto-kun! Where is Iruka-sensei?"  
"I have no idea." Naruto said, rushing to get a dustpan and brush, "But I hope he shows up soon."  
Hinata giggled as she watched Naruto pick up the broken sake bottle, "N-naruto-kun…?"

"Yea?"  
"You're hot."  
"It is kind of warm…" Naruto murmured, sweeping up the last shards, "But I'm okay…"  
"No!" Hinata said, tackling him, "_YOU'RE HOT!_"  
Naruto screamed and found himself on his back, with Sasuke above him, a strange smile on his blushing face, "I took my s-shirt off…" Sasuke slurred, "Your turn!"

"H-hinata-chan!"  
"N-need some help, huh?"  
A shadow suddenly loomed over the two.  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

* * *

So short, I knooooow!

I'm having a really hard time coming up with ideas for this story and so if you think this chapter wasn't that good, then I'd have to agree with you because I'm _forcing_ myself to write!  
Argh!

Help me out, yea?

Send me ideas!

So - still not a pairing fic - I just wanted to get Hinata drunk.  
Hah!

I wonder who caught them, hm?

-4ng3legg


	5. A Reunion of Sorts

Naruto and Hinata looked up, "Heeeeey!" Sasuke's voice slurred, "Iruka-sensei!"  
Hinata giggled, groaned, lurched forward and landed in a heap on Naruto.  
"T-this isn't what it looks like." Naruto said, pushing Sasuke's limp body off of him.

"It looks like Hinata tried to make a _very drunk_ move on you." Iruka sighed, "Why is she drunk, Naruto?"  
Naruto grinned, "I heard alcohol lessens pain and I couldn't find any pain-killers but her head was hurting so bad so I had to, Iruka-sensei! _I had to!_ This is YOUR fault! If you put the pain-killers where I could find them and put the sake where I _couldn't_ find it then none of this would have happened! Iruka-sensei! Don't be mad at me! I had to!" Naruto babbled.

Iruka stared at the flustered blond, "Naruto, I'm not mad. I'm slightly disturbed at having just watched Uchiha Sasuke try to 'have his way with you' in my living room but I'm not mad."  
"Don't say it like that!" Naruto whined, "_Hinata_ tried to have _her_ way with me, Iruka-sensei! She just happened to be in Sasuke's body at the time.  
Iruka shook his head. The mental image was forever burned in his brain and no amount of reasoning would eradicate it.

"Let's… just go to bed."  
"But I'm hungry!" Naruto whined.  
"I'm hungry, too." Sasuke's voice groaned as Hinata sat up, Sasuke's head swaying slightly, "Iruka-sensei? I… _hic_… I think I'm drunk." She smiled and looked down, "I… don't have a shirt on, Iruka-sensei…"  
"I can see that."  
"Good thing I don't have my body, huh?" Hinata giggled madly, "Because then you would see my boobies!"

Iruka wondered if there was a jutsu that would enable him to delete parts of his memory.  
Hearing Uchiha Sasuke say 'then you would see my boobies!' is something one should never have to hear.  
Naruto slowly moved away from Hinata, just in case she felt the sudden need to attack again.

"I'm hungry, Iruka-sensei!" Hinata murmured, "I demand food."  
She reached out a hand and grabbed Naruto's ankle, "Please?" She said as she dragged him back over to her, "Before… my…_hic_… mind decides to… find other ways to… be occupied…"  
"She needs food, Sensei! Food! Get her some food!" Naruto pleaded as he dug his fingers into the carpet. It was no good.  
Sasuke had strength, which Hinata had no trouble using.

"O-ok! Just don't hurt Naruto, Hinata-chan! I'm getting you food, ok? I'm getting you food!"  
Hinata smiled but kept Sasuke's hand clenched around Naruto's ankle.  
She stood up and followed Iruka into the kitchen, dragging Naruto along behind her.  
--

"You can let go of my leg now…" Naruto said, "I'm not going to run away."  
The effects of the alcohol were beginning to fade and Hinata was beginning to sober up.  
The food helped and she'd forgotten she had Naruto's ankle in her – in Sasuke's – hand.  
"Sorry, Naruto-kun." Hinata said, releasing the blond's ankle, "M-my head is beginning to hurt again, though… maybe I could have some more sak…?"  
"NO!" Iruka and Naruto barked.

"N-no, Hinata-chan, I'm sure I can find… OH, I KNOW!… Kakashi-sensei is right next door. I bet he has something!" Iruka nodded, "I'll be right back."  
"I didn't know Kakashi-sensei lived right next door to Iruka-sensei." Naruto said, more to himself than Hinata.  
"I didn't do anything weird a little while ago, did I?"  
"No, of course not. What makes you think that?" Naruto lied neatly.

"The fact that I'm not wearing a shirt." Hinata sighed, "What a strange place for a scar…" She murmured, examining a scar on Sasuke's left hip, "I… really don't want to know where he got this one."  
"You think that's weird?" Naruto said, "You should see your, er… Sasuke's back."  
Hinata turned her head, trying to see Sasuke's back, "Why? What's on there?"  
"Souveniers." A soft, deadly voice said from the open window.

Naruto and Hinata turned, "Hey!" Hinata said, still somewhat drunk, "It's me!"  
"H-hinata! Sasuke!" Naruto said, eyes darting back and forth from Sasuke's face, which was pink and smiling strangely, to Hinata's face which was frowning deeply and exuding an aura of murderous intent.  
"Why is there a stupid look on my face?" Sasuke hissed, Hinata's soft voice sounding dangerous.

"When isn't there?" Hinata laughed, Sasuke's voice sounding strange in laughter.  
"Are you drunk?" Sasuke asked slowly.  
"Are you stupid?" Hinata asked, smiling, "No, no, don't answer. I already know! Who's your friends?"  
"This is so freaking weird." Suigetsu said to Karin, "Sasuke is smiling. I… well, frankly, I didn't know he _could_."  
Karin nodded.

Juugo kept his eyes on Hinata's body.  
Hinata noticed.  
"The big one keeps staring at my butt." She stood up, swaying slightly, "Hey… big boy."  
Sasuke was utterly disturbed at hearing his voice say, 'big boy'.  
"Keep your eyes to yourself!" Hinata said, "In any case… Saaaasuuuuke… just what the hell do you think you're wearing!?"

"This is where the conversation is going?" Naruto asked.  
"Look at me, you slut." Hinata said, gesturing at Sasuke-in-Hinata's-body, "Look at what you've got me wearing. Look at me, Naruto. Just look at me. I'm hot, amirite?"  
Naruto nodded. Hinata was pretty hot.

"But those clothes are way too freaking damn tight. Look at this." She appeared next to Sasuke and pointed to her boobs, "Everyone can see everything! So tight!" She poked her boob, "Still nice though. You haven't been touching them, have you?" She scowled at Sasuke, "You better not have even looked at them. I'll find out, Sasuke and I'll kick your balls in, you hear me?"  
"Don't touch me." Sasuke hissed.  
Hinata simply slapped him.

Sasuke gasped. No one had ever ever _ever_ EVER slapped him!  
"Jeez…" Hinata sneered, in-Sasuke's-body, "Made me slap my own face. That's… not cool. And DON'T tell me not to touch _you_. You're in my persnickety body, Sas-jerk. I can touch you all I want. It's MY body." She glared at Sasuke's silent partners, "And if I hear you've been touching my body, I'll shut off all your tenketsus, rip out your organs and force-feed them to you while you smile and ask for more. You freaking understand me?"

Karin thought Sasuke had never looked cooler – taking charge, slapping around girls and what not.  
(A/N: What the freak, Karin? Masochist!)  
Juugo was disturbed.  
Suigetsu thought he was in love. Her hot bod and her crazy-freaking mind. Hells yea. Hello, Mother-of-Suigetsu's-children! (A/N: Suigetsu would totally fall for a girl who's a complete psycho. Oh yea.)  
"ARE YOU DRUNK!?" Sasuke yelled.  
"You really are stupid." Hinata sighed, "I'm cone sold stober… _idiot_."

"That's it!" Sasuke grabbed Hinata's wrist, "We're gone."  
Hinata simply touched Sasuke's – _Hinata's­_ – wrist and his – _her_ – arm went numb.  
"H-hey!" Sasuke said, stumbling backwards.  
"I shut off that tenketsu." Hinata said simply, "I am, after all, a master of Gentle Fist taijutsu."  
"B-but you can't see the tenketsu holes!" Naruto said, "Without your Byakugan!"  
"True." Hinata nodded, "But I long ago took the precaution of memorizing where every tenketsu in the body is. I don't need to see them."

Sasuke roared, "You're coming with me!" He ran at Hinata, his still-active fist pulled back.  
Hinata smirked and easily dodged the hit. She drew Sasuke's arms back and began gently touching several areas on Sasuke's – _Hinata's_ – body.  
He went rigid and fell backwards, unconscious.

"Wha-hey! How'd you do that?" Naruto asked.  
"Tch – Sasuke relies too heavily on his Sharingan." Hinata sighed and shook her head, "I rely on my Byakugan, of course, but not in so heavily in battle. I already said, I'm a taijutsu master of Gentle Fist! I don't need Byakugan to fight hand-to-hand. Sasuke has had his Sharingan long enough to lose sight of remembering the basics. Of course if he was in his own body, I would have had a harder time beating him but I would have. Eventually."  
"Really?"  
"Sure. Sharingan is, after all, a bastardization of Byakugan. A lower form. Not as good."

"Wow."  
"One would argue." Karin suddenly said, "That Sharingan was _better_ – an evolution towards greater ability."  
"One would be wrong." Hinata deadpanned, "I've studied eye-related bloodline limits my entire life. I know what I'm talking about. Tch…" She turned to Naruto, "I think I'm sober."  
"Wow."  
"Sasuke's body seems to have a faster-than-normal healing rate. Mm, not as good as yours, Naruto, but better than my own." She turned to the quiet three, still standing, "Aren't you supposed to be trying to capture me and do something about the fact that I just defeated your leader?"

"We need your help." Karin said simply, "We can part ways without any bloodshed if we just find a way to switch your bodies back."  
"I _could_ agree to that," Hinata said, "But I'm loyal to my village. Uchiha Sasuke is an S-class missing nin. I have to turn him in."  
"There's no need for that." Karin argued, "It'd be simpler to say that whatever happened wore off and you woke up back in your own body and Sasuke was never nearby."  
"Sounds plausible." Hinata said, "But _how_ do we reverse it?"  
"That's a good question…" Karin mumbled.

"Good news!" Iruka's voice rang out, "Kakashi found some aspirin!"  
He walked into the room, smiling brightly. He looked around, saw the new faces and Hinata's unconscious body on the floor and coughed, "I just walked into something big, didn't I?"  
--

"The best solution would be to go to Tsunade-sama." Iruka sighed, "And perhaps by studying both the… _victims_, she would be able to figure out what's going on."  
"We're not going to the Hokage." Sasuke said simply, "Too many ANBU around. I am, after all, a missing-nin. I don't have time to be captured and interrogated."  
"But she's the best medical-nin in the village. In the country!" Iruka argued.  
"Tough! It's not happening."

"I'm gonna have to agree with Iruka-sensei." Hinata sighed, "We have no idea what's happened or why our bodies have been switched. We need a real medical nin."  
"Then kidnap one from a hospital." Suigetsu suggested.  
"But _not_ theHokage." Sasuke repeated.

"Maybe we could ask Sakura-chan…" Naruto said thoughtfully, "But… _no_. That probably won't be a good idea."  
"Agreed." Sasuke said.  
"_Who is Sakura-chan_!?" Karin asked, "Is she, like, an ex-girlfriend or something?"  
"Something." Sasuke barked, "We need to figure this out before two-weeks are up. I have an important appointment that I refuse to cancel."

"Yea!" Suigetsu nodded, "I've got a sword to win."  
Iruka sighed, "Look, it's late. It's very very late. We've got two weeks to figure out what's going on and how to switch the bodies back before you've got your little meeting, right, Sasuke-kun?"  
"Yes, Iruka-sensei." Sasuke muttered.

Everyone looked astonished.  
"_What!?_" Sasuke hissed.  
"Y-you… _showed_ someone _respect_." Suigetsu said in a hushed tone, "Y-you're smiling and showing respect… it's… it's like I don't even know you."  
Sasuke glared at the sharp-toothed man, "You_ don't_."

"Why don't we all get some sleep? The… seven of us…" Iruka sighed, "I… we'll figure out what to do tomorrow – without alerting the town to your arrival, Sasuke-kun."  
Hinata scooted closer to Naruto, "Y-you… don't mind if I sleep next to you, do you… Naruto-kun?"  
"Of course not." Naruto said.  
Sasuke grimaced, "Oh, no, you don't! You're sleeping right next to me, Hinata! So I can keep an eye on my body!"  
"Fine." Hinata pouted, "Then I'll sleep between you and Naruto."  
"I sleep next to Sasuke!" Suigetsu called, "Me! I called it! I CALLED IT, BITCHES!"

Juugo and Karin decided it was best not to argue with Suigetsu when he started calling everyone 'bitch'.  
Finally, as the clock began ticking closer to 3 AM, the group fell asleep.  
At exactly 3:22, Naruto awoke suddenly and realized that Hinata tried to put the moves on him. It was slow to come but he finally understood that Hinata had something of a crush on him!  
**TBC!**

* * *

Way to go, Naruto. You finally figured it out, huh?

So... now this fic is officially crack.  
Why aren't Sasuke and Naruto fighting? Why is Naruto allowing Sasuke to waltz around without trying to stop him from leaving the village again?  
Well, I figure to Naruto, it's not fair to fight Sasuke when Sasuke isn't in his own body.  
Sort of a truce.  
But this fic is far from canon so... whatever?

Also - i think Sasuke relies to heavily on his Sharingan. Hinata uses her Byakugan, of course, but she also trains in Gentle Fist. Also, because Hinata is technically in the stronger body (Sasuke's) she would be able to beat him since he's fighting in her body (he's off balance, he doesn't have his Sharingan and he's allowed anger to distract him.) SO... yea.

Anyway, I'm just writing this for laughs now.  
Does anyone have an idea of how I can end it?  
Or why they switched bodies?

Send them! Please!  
-4ng3legg 


	6. Night Terrors and Morning Horrors

Sometime during the night, Sasuke awoke.  
He felt a hand crawling up his hip.  
"Keep going and I will rip your arm off and beat you to death with it."  
The hand stopped and went away.  
-

Sometime later Hinata awoke to find herself staring into her own face.  
"Oh!" Hinata gasped before she realized Sasuke was awake and staring at her.  
"You startled me…"  
Sasuke frowned, "Are Naruto and Iruka-sensei the only people who know about your problem?"  
Hinata blushed, "N-no…"  
"Who else?"  
"Neji-niichan and Godaime-sama. Sakura-chan and Ino-chan… and Kakashi-sensei and a bunch of ANBU and doctors…"  
Sasuke stared at his own face, "_Why didn't you just tell the entire village!?_"

"Tch – did you really think that when I woke up in your body, I'd just stay in bed all day? I went to the Hokage because she's the most skilled medical-nin in the country. I was hoping she could _cure_ me." Hinata retorted, "Anyway, Sakura-chan and Ino-chan were never supposed to know. Sakura nearly killed me because she thought I was a prisoner trying to escape. When she saw my, well, _your_ face she went still. She's probably still standing out there muttering to herself… I don't know how Iruka-sensei managed to get rid of Ino-chan."

Sasuke hissed and closed his eyes, "Go to sleep."  
Hinata reached up and flicked him between his eyes.  
Sasuke's eyes flashed open and Hinata found herself staring into her own pearl-white eyes.  
"Why did you do that!?"  
"I'd never noticed how freaking creepy my eyes look from the outside… _jeez_."

Sasuke's eye twitched and he turned his back to Hinata.  
He found himself looking into Suigetsu's eyes.  
"Heeeey…"  
Sasuke immediately rolled around and curled up beside Hinata, "I think Suigetsu's planning something."  
Hinata raised her head and looked over Sasuke at Suigetsu, "Don't touch my body."

Suigetsu winked at her, "Hey, when you and Sasuke switch back, you wanna go out sometime?"  
Hinata's eye twitched, "N-no…"  
"I've got a giant sword." Suigetsu grinned lecherously.  
Hinata shuddered and laid her head down, "Maybe you should switch places with Naruto."

Sasuke nodded and reached over Naruto, "Hey, dumbass, wake up."  
Naruto grunted and opened one bleary blue eye, "Uhn… what do you want?"  
"Switch places with me before Suigetsu starts humping my leg."  
Naruto grunted again and slowly sat up, "Yea, yea, whatever."  
"Hey, you can't just _switch_ places!" Suigetsu complained as Naruto stepped over Hinata and laid down.  
"Shut up." Naruto grunted, "And don't hump my leg."  
"I _won't_!"

Hinata scooted closer to Naruto, "G-goodnight, Naruto-kun… thank you for switching places with Sasuke-kun…"  
Naruto smiled slightly and immediately fell back asleep.  
Sasuke poked Hinata in the back, "I'd better not wake up to find you draped all over Naruto."  
Hinata grimaced but managed to fall back asleep.  
-

Sometime later Hinata awoke to find Naruto's arm draped across her chest and Sasuke's head on her shoulder.  
She blushed. She tried to _gently_ push Sasuke's – _her_ – head off but Sasuke grunted and buried his face in her neck.  
Hinata tried to ignore the sudden feeling of excitement the movement had caused.  
Beside her, Naruto mumbled something in his sleep and tightened his arm around her chest.

Hinata began sweating.  
'_Dead puppies, grandma… dead puppies… grandma…_'  
Finally, as she began to feel calmer, she felt a hand reach around Naruto's body and touch her stomach.  
"Suigetsu!" She hissed, "Go to sleep!"  
The hand went rigid.

In the moonlight, Hinata could see the hand was small and thin.  
It wasn't Suigetsu.  
"Karin?"  
The hand flailed for a moment and slithered away.  
Hinata suppressed a shudder.  
Eventually, she fell asleep, Naruto's arm still around her chest, Sasuke's head on her shoulder.  
--

When Iruka awoke the next morning, he hadn't expected to find Naruto and Hinata's body draped over Sasuke's body or Suigetsu curled up in a little ball against Naruto's back. Karin was sprawled across the floor, her foot on Suigetsu and her head on Juugo's stomach and her left hand on Juugo's face.  
"This isn't weird at all." Iruka muttered.

A sudden knock on the door made Iruka jump.  
He shuffled to the door, "W-who is it?"  
"Kakashi."  
Iruka opened the door a crack, "What do you want?"  
"You need to bring Hinata in early, remember? Is she ready to go…?"

"N-no… she hasn't woken up yet. I'll take her when she's ready, thank you. Goodbye."  
Kakashi stopped Iruka from closing the door, "Well, I woke myself up really early to get you guys. Can I come in? I didn't have my morning coffee."  
"No, sorry. I don't have any coffee. Goodbye."  
"Hey, what's the big idea?" Kakashi asked as Iruka shut the door, "I just want some coffee."  
"S-sorry, Kakashi-san. I'll make it up to you, ok? I don't want to disturb Hinata. She had a hard time going to sleep last night." Iruka called through the door, "Bye, bye!"

Kakashi snorted beneath his mask.  
Iruka was hiding something and Kakashi wanted to know what.  
-

Iruka nearly screamed when he turned away from the door.  
Suigetsu was standing there. Smiling.  
"Who was that?"  
"Shh!" Iruka whispered, "Don't do that! It's one of my colleagues. He's an excellent ninja so don't make too much noise or he'll figure everything out and trust me, you don't want this guy to know what's going on."  
Suigetsu grinned, "I'll just kill him."

"You won't kill anyone." Iruka growled, "Least of all any of _my_ colleagues or any Konoha nins and occupants, get it? Or you'll have me to deal with."  
Suigetsu smirked, "Oh yea, you look real scary."  
Iruka smiled slowly, "Don't you wonder why Sasuke-kun shows me respect, Suigetsu-kun?"  
Suigetsu raised an eyebrow, "Uh…"  
"It's because Sasuke-kun knows just how _scary_ I can be." Iruka said slowly. Suigetsu felt a chill run down his spine. The tone was dangerous and scarier than any he'd ever heard before.  
Iruka suddenly smiled brightly, "Now please wake up the others while I prepare breakfast, Suigetsu-kun. Thank you."  
-

Suigetsu kicked Naruto, "Wake up, blondie, your _sensei_ is making breakfast."  
Naruto grunted but didn't wake up.  
Sasuke woke up, though, and Hinata's eyes flew open revealing the pearl-colored orbs, "Wake up the other two." Sasuke said, slowly lifting his head.  
Suigetsu chuckled, "Have a nice rest, Sasuke-kun…? All snuggled up with the other two?"

Sasuke narrowed Hinata's eyes and Suigetsu felt a slight chill.  
The murderous intent wasn't as scary as Iruka's dangerous tone.  
Suigetsu shrugged and went to kick Juugo and Karin awake.

Sasuke shoved Naruto and the blond clutched tighter to Sasuke's body. Hinata awoke and she immediately realized where she was.  
"Get him off my body." Sasuke said, poking Naruto in the face.  
Hinata blushed, "Um…"  
Naruto opened one eye and slapped Sasuke's hand away.

"G-mornnn," Naruto grunted, rolling away from Sasuke's body, "Snusu snd Iru-snse makn brkfst?"  
"W-what?" Hinata asked, sitting up.  
"He said, 'Suigetsu said Iruka-sensei's making breakfast?'" Sasuke translated, "And yes, idiot, Iruka-sensei's making breakfast."  
Naruto grunted, "Shdp, stpd Sasface." Naruto climbed to his feet, stretched like a cat and stumbled off to Iruka's bathroom.

Hinata watched the drowsy blond, smiling.  
"Stop smiling like that." Sasuke barked, "You're making me look gay for Naruto."  
Hinata rolled her eyes and ignored the frown Sasuke wore on Hinata's face.  
"Stop frowning." Hinata said, "You're going to give me wrinkles." She rubbed her temple as she stood up, "Iruka-sensei! My head hurts." She called as she walked into the kitchen.

Sasuke watched his body shuffle away. Then he turned his attention to Suigetsu who was staring at him, his foot poised to kick Karin.  
"She'll rip off your leg if you wake her up like that." Sasuke warned him.  
Suigetsu smirked and kicked Karin.  
Karin leapt up and started clawing at Suigetsu's face before the sharp-toothed man understood what was happening.  
Suigetsu's screaming awoke Juugo who blinked his eyes, sat up and stared at Sasuke.  
Sasuke glowered at the calm man and followed Hinata into the kitchen.  
-

No one was aware of a silver-haired ninja crawling around the building, searching for an open window.  
-

Naruto dunked his head into the water-filled sink.  
Behind him the window that was not locked slowly began to open.  
Naruto pulled his head from the water and shook his head wildly like a dog. The entire bathroom was sprayed. So was the head of the nin who was snaking through the now-open window.

Naruto grabbed a tooth-cleaning stick from the cup full of them that Iruka kept on hand.  
The slightly-soggy nin dropped soundlessly to the floor of the bathroom and watched the blond as he began scrubbing his teeth.  
Naruto finished and rinsed his mouth out with mouthwash.  
The nin waited patiently as Naruto gurgled and spit.  
Naruto smiled at himself in the mirror, winked and strode out of the bathroom, leaving the door open, "Whoever's next! The bathroom's free!"  
The nin slithered out of the open door and hid in the shadows.

Hinata passed Naruto, "T-thank you, Naruto-kun."  
"No problem, Hinata-chan." Naruto said, "Watch out, hm? I'm pretty sure Kakashi's not in the bathroom anymore."  
Hinata nodded and began walking into the bathroom, "Good morning, Kakashi-sensei." She called out the shadows.  
"Good morning, Hinata-chan." Kakashi replied, resignedly.

Naruto reappeared, "Iruka-sensei said you might as well stay for breakfast, Kakashi-sensei, since you've already wormed your way in."  
Kakashi snorted, "I can't believe you realized it was me, Naruto. I'm impressed."  
Naruto smiled, "I can't believe you forgot there was a mirror in front of me."  
"So why didn't Iruka-kun let me in in the first place?"

"Because of me." Sasuke said, appearing near the bathroom door, "Hinata! Let me in!"  
"N-NO!"  
"It's MY body! Who cares if you're NAKED! I've seen myself NAKED a million times!"  
"S-sasuke…"  
"OPEN UP OR I'LL START GETTING UNDRESSED IN THE HALL…"  
"You wouldn't!"  
"RIGHT IN FRONT OF NARUTO AND KAKASHI!"  
"S-sa…"  
"THAT'S IT. I'M TAKING OFF MY CLOTHES!" Sasuke grabbed the hem of his shirt, "GOODBYE SHIRT!"  
The door flew open, a hand grabbed Hinata's arm, jerked Sasuke into the bathroom and the door slammed shut.

Kakashi stared.  
What was Sasuke-in-Hinata's-body _wearing_!?  
Hinata-chan was _HOT_.  
Kakashi said as much thus earning himself a kick to the shin from a disgruntled Naruto.  
--

Kakashi and Suigetsu stared at each other from across Iruka's tiny table.  
"So…" Kakashi murmured.  
"You're the guy who defeated my superior, Momochi Zabuza."  
"Well, actually, it was my team and I…"

"And you just left his sword there… in the ground?"  
"Yea."  
"Why?"  
"Because I didn't want to carry it around?" Kakashi shrugged, "I sure didn't need it."  
Suigetsu snorted, "So, since you defeated my superior, then that means if I defeat you, it'll be like defeating my superior."  
"Uh…"

"Fight me!"  
"No, I don't…"  
"FIGHT ME!" Suigetsu demanded, standing up, "NOW!"  
Iruka placed a firm hand on Suigetsu's shoulder and shoved him down into his chair, "Food first now sit your butt DOWN."  
Suigetsu pouted.  
Kakashi smiled beneath his mask.

"What's with the mask?" Juugo asked.  
Kakashi blinked at the near-silent man, "Excuse me?"  
"Why do you wear a mask?"  
"Because I want to." Kakashi said.

"Is your face horribly disfigured?" Suigetsu asked.  
"Do you have big fat lips?" Karin asked.  
"Do you have buck teeth?" Sasuke asked, walking into the kitchen, "Take it off!"  
"Take it off!" Naruto seconded, "We wanna see your face!"

Kakashi stared at the people around, "You really want to see?"  
"YES!" Almost everyone – including Iruka chorused.  
"A little bit." Hinata said softly.  
Kakashi sat there, blinking.

"So… take it off." Iruka said, forgetting that he was supposed to be preparing breakfast.  
"I didn't say I would take it off." Kakashi said, raising his visible eyebrow, "I just asked if you all really wanted to see."

**TBC**

* * *

The crack continues! Remember folks! Crack kills! My crack kills your braincells! (And those don't grow back!)

Notes:  
Tooth-cleaning sticks are real. They're used in Africa and Middle-eastern countries.  
While I'm sure everyone in the Naru-verse brushes their teeth, a tooth-cleaning stick would be useful during missions or if you have visitors over and didn't want to buy a ton of toothbrushes. XD

Can you tell that I love Iruka-sensei?  
Oh yes. I do.  
And Suigetsu, too. He's made of crazy-awesome. THE BEST KIND!  
Kakashi - of course.  
I'm somewhat obsessed with what is under that mask. Hahha.  
I'm sure canon!Sasuke is running around with Hebi, trying to kill Itachi and at night, when everyone is asleep he's thinking, "_What is under that freaking mask!? I bet he's got big lips... yea_..."  
LOL

-4ng3legg  
Reviews make me write faster! XD


	7. Uncomfortable

Everyone glowered at Kakashi but no one made a move to remove his mask by force.  
"You know," Hinata said, turning to Sasuke, "If you could activate my Byakugan than you could look past the fabric and see his face."  
"_Tch_," Sasuke sniffed, "I don't care… besides, why didn't you ever do it when you had access to your Byakugan?"  
Hinata smiled, "I never knew how much I wanted to know until just now."

"So activate her Byakugan." Suigetsu said, "How hard can it be?"  
"Yea, Sasuke – how hard can it be?" Naruto nodded.  
Sasuke glared at the two, "Shut up! S-she can't activate my Sharingan!"  
Hinata nodded, "Guilty as charged. But I thought you were the powerful Uchiha-san, Sasuke. And aren't I the weak little Hyuuga heiress? Are you comparing your ultra-strength to little-ole' me?"

Sasuke's eye twitched and he turned to Iruka, "Sensei, is the food ready?"  
"…food? OH! THE FOOD!" Iruka rushed away, "ARGH! IT'S GONNA BURN!"  
"You call him sensei but not me?" Kakashi asked, "But I'm the cool Jounin with the kick-ass hair."  
Everyone stared at Kakashi as if they'd forgotten he was there.  
Kakashi hung his head in defeat.  
"I saved it!" Iruka called, "Time to eat!"  
--

It was after breakfast when Kakashi pointed out that Hinata _had_ to go to the Hokage.  
"No." Sasuke said.  
"Not your call." Kakashi said, "Until this whole problem is solved, the Hokage is planning on keeping a very close eye on Hinata."  
"Too damn bad." Sasuke hissed, "It's not happening."  
"The Hokage will be very suspicious of Hinata doesn't return. They'll begin to think the whole thing was a ploy and that Hinata was never really in your body, Sasuke, and that in fact it was you all along, trying to devise a plan to kill the Hokage or destroy Konoha or something!" Kakashi argued.

"Unless…" Naruto said suddenly.  
Everyone stared at the blond.  
"Unless Hinata's body shows up and claims she woke up completely back to normal." Naruto said smiling.  
"Well,_duh_," Sasuke barked, "But Hinata's NOT back to normal, idiot!"  
Naruto rolled his eyes, "Well done, Captain Obvious. But her body IS here, moron! YOU go in Hinata's stead, tell them you're Hinata and you're all fine and dandy and everyone is happy – GET IT!?"

Kakashi shivered. He wondered if hell had frozen over.  
Iruka gasped and ran to the window in search of flying pigs.  
The unthinkable had happened.  
Naruto had come up with a good plan (not that that was weird, mind you, Naruto came up with good plans all the time) but _Sasuke hadn't understood_!

Sasuke opened and closed his mouth silently, in horror.  
He'd shown_ slowness_.  
He'd shown _stupidity_.

Judging by the smirk on his face, Naruto would never let him live it down.  
Kakashi looked as though he wanted to laugh.  
Iruka looked uncomfortable but somewhat proud of the blond.  
Hinata looked lovingly at Naruto.

Karin felt less attracted Sasuke – not merely because he was in a girl's body at the moment.  
Juugo lost a little bit of respect for Sasuke.  
Suigetsu hadn't heard a thing that had happened and was instead staring at Hinata's boobs.  
Hinata realized where Suigetsu's eyes were concentrated and she promptly flung a chopstick at his face.  
--

"You stay here." Sasuke told Karin, Suigetsu and Juugo, "I'll be back later. Don't cause any trouble or I'll kill you. Come on Iruka-sensei, Kakashi. Let's go."  
"Why don't you call me sensei?" Kakashi could be heard asking as they left Iruka's apartment.

The five young people sat in Iruka's small apartment living room and stared across the room at each other.  
Suigetsu, bored without the eye-catching entertainment of Hinata's boobs to distract him, started wondering if he could fight someone. Anyone. The blond. The chick in Sasuke's body. Yea… he wouldn't mind kicking Sasuke's nuts in.  
Karin stared at Naruto. He was so different that Sasuke – the complete opposite almost. He reminded her a lot of Suigetsu actually.  
Juugo stared at his hands.  
He stared at the ceiling. He stared at the wall.

Naruto stared at the three.  
He wondered if they were planning something.  
He wondered just how dangerous these people were and where Sasuke found them.  
He wondered if he could make a ramen-run.  
He shook his head, trying to clear it of delicious but distracting thoughts of ramen.  
Hinata stared at Naruto.  
--

Walking between Iruka and Kakashi, Sasuke felt a familiar chill down his back.  
He wondered just _what_ was happening back in Iruka's apartment.  
"Hinata-chan!" Tsunade said when Sasuke walked in, "You're back to normal?"

"YUP!" Sasuke barked, "So I'm out of here." He spun on his heel was immediately spun back to face Tsunade.  
Iruka's elbow dug into his side.  
Sasuke glared at the tanned man with the scar across his nose.  
Iruka stared back and Sasuke's gaze dropped, so great was Iruka's stare!

"I-I mean…" Sasuke stammered, trying to remember how Hinata acted, "I… I woke up, Tsu-tsunade-sama… and… and I… I was b-back in my b-body… s-so… I guess I… I'm fine…"  
He jabbed his fingers together and twirled them angrily as if he blamed his fingertips for his predicament.  
"Well, we'll do another check on you today, Hinata-chan." Tsunade said with just a slight hiccup, "Mmkay? Mmkay! Go wait in the same room as yesterday!"  
-

As Iruka and Kakashi hustled Sasuke out of the Hokage's office, Iruka huffed indignantly.  
"No wonder she didn't see through your poorly acted mockery of Hinata-chan's personality." Iruka murmured, "Can you believe her? She's already drunk and it's still morning!"  
"Poorly acted!?" Sasuke growled.  
"Yup." Kakashi said, not specifying who he was agreeing with.  
--

"So…"  
Everyone turned their gaze to Naruto.  
"Where are you all from?"  
"Oh, I'm from None-of-your-damn-business. Ever been there? It's nice this time of year." Suigetsu smiled, revealing his sharp teeth, "Hey – you wanna fight?"  
Karin smirked, "What do you want to know that for, anyway?"  
Naruto sighed, "Trying to make small talk."  
"Very small." Juugo said.

"Well," Hinata murmured softly in Sasuke's voice, "N-naruto-kun… tell me more about… yourself?"  
"Hm? Sure. What do you want to know?"  
Hinata blushed bright red. EVERYTHING! She wanted to shout, "Um… uh…" She felt dizzy. Faint.  
"Uhmmmm…"

"What are you good at? Ninjutsu? Taijutsu?" Suigetsu asked.  
"Oh, yes…" Hinata breathed a sigh of relief, "T-that's a good question, Suigetsu-kun…"  
Suigetsu stared at Sasuke's blushing face, "Thanks, girl-in-Sasuke's-body."  
"Hm…" Naruto thought for a moment, "Everything."

This earned him a raised eyebrow from everyone.  
"Haha! I'm just kidding." Naruto laughed, "Ninjutsu. What are you skilled at, Sungattu?"  
Suigetsu shot Naruto an ugly look and then shot Karin another one when she laughed.  
"Sword play!" Suigetsu barked, "I can kill anyone with this sword. Want to see?"  
--

Sasuke glared at the doctor as she approached to take a blood sample.  
"I'm fine." He growled, "That's not necessary."  
"Its fine, Hinata-chan." Iruka murmured, "It _is_ necessary so we can leave quickly, correct?"  
Sasuke shook his head and slapped the doctor's hand away, "I said it's not necessary, fuckface! Back the fuck off!"

"Hinata-chan!" Iruka barked.  
"Such language!" Kakashi laughed.  
The doctor turned red, "H-hyuuga-san! That kind of language is unnecessary! Please allow me to do my job!"  
"Come any closer and it'll be your eye meeting the business end of that needle, I swear!"

"Let's just hold her down and get it done with!" Kakashi sighed, "Come on, Iruka-kun."  
"Please!" The doctor pleaded.  
"Hey! Don't you fucking touch me, Kakashi!" Sasuke yelled.  
"Just grab her arms!" Kakashi directed Iruka, "I've got her legs!"

"BACK OFF!" Sasuke screamed, "I swear, Kakashi, I'll make sure a future of fathering children is completely out of the question, you get my gist!?"  
"Shaddup!" Kakashi yelled as he leapt at Hinata's body, "Don't make me hit you in the ovaries!"  
"Ovaries!?" Iruka repeated as he made a grab for Hinata's arms.  
"YEA! THE OVARIES! RIGHT IN THE BABY-MAKER!" Kakashi yelled just as Sasuke landed a kick to his face.  
"HA!" Sasuke laughed maniacally, "Not so pretty now, are you!?"  
--

"So you guys are gonna kill Uchiha Itachi?" Naruto asked.  
He was sitting upside down on the couch, his legs in the air against the back and his head hanging from the seat.  
"That's the plan." Suigetsu said, his mouth full, "Here, Juugo. Have an apple." He flung the bitten fruit at the quiet man and successfully landed a hit to the forehead.

"That's Sasuke's plan, anyway." Karin said, dodging the apple as it sailed through the air back towards Suigetsu, "Sasuke _begged_ me to come. I just know he has feelings for me!"  
Suigetsu and Juugo laughed loudly, the fruit quickly forgotten.  
"Sounds familiar." Hinata said, exchanging a look with Naruto.

A knock sounded at the door.  
Everyone immediately went silent and tensed up.  
"Hey… you… girl-in-Sasuke's-body, you go get it!" Suigetsu whispered.  
"No! Sasuke can't be in the village!" Hinata hissed, "Naruto! You go!"  
Naruto nodded and leapt off the couch.

He crept to the door and peeked out the peephole.  
A frowning face with cold white eyes stared back.  
"I see you, Naruto." Neji said.  
Naruto swallowed hard.  
"And I see everyone else in there too…"  
--

Iruka nursed a bitten finger, several bruises and a cut that Sasuke managed using only Hinata's nails. He wondered if it would be a pretty new scar to add to his collection.  
'I got off easy.' Iruka thought as he leaned against the wall, applying antiseptic cream to his wounds.

Kakashi had a big lump beneath his mask at his jaw from where Sasuke kicked him in the face.  
He also had a dislocated shoulder (which Iruka and the doctor were able to relocate), three bitten fingers and Sasuke had nearly managed to make good on his promise to make Kakashi sterile.  
Kakashi was curled up in a little ball in the corner of the room, vowing to kill Sasuke when he returned to his body.

Sasuke was hissing at anyone who came near the bed. He couldn't do any damage – Kakashi had made sure of that when he tied him down and gagged his mouth.  
But that didn't stop Sasuke from shooting death-stares at everyone.

The latest nurse scribbled something on a chart and made for the door, "Oh, ah, Umino-san!"  
Iruka looked up, "Yes?"  
"There is one more test and then you will be free to leave, ok?"  
"Ah, very good. Thank you."

Iruka waited until she left.  
"Sasuke-kun…" Iruka sighed, "Why must you fight us at every turn? Aren't we trying to work together?" He walked over and released Sasuke's gag.  
Sasuke ignored the calm man, "Hey, Kakashi – how does it feel to be less of a man!? AHHAHA!"

Kakashi growled, "The only reason I'm not leaping over buildings to race to your body and kicking your pitiful nuts in, Sasuke…" Kakashi panted, "…is because I know Hinata would be severely injured. Make no mistake, Sasuke, once you're in your own body." He groaned, feeling nauseous, "I'm going… to make… you… _pay…_"  
"Promises, promises." Sasuke taunted.  
Iruka sighed, "Just one more test, Sasuke and then we can leave, ok?"  
--

"Open the door, Naruto." Neji said.  
"Iruka said no friends over…"  
"Just open the door."  
"Hinata's not feeling well, Neji – just let her rest, yea?"  
"Open.The.Door… or else you'll be sorry." Neji said softly.  
"Psh!"

"Fine. I'm not going to open this door by force, Naruto." Neji said, "I'm going to get Gai-sensei and he can make a _dynamic entry_."  
Naruto gasped. If Gai came around and saw everything it'd be all over Konoha in five minutes!  
Gai was such a gossip-queen!  
"Ok, ok! Calm down, Neji…" Naruto sighed and opened the door, "Get in here." He pulled the older boy in, "Using Gai-sensei as a threat – that's not cool."  
Neji sneered and walked further in.

"Who the hell are you?" Suigetsu asked, "Hey! You've got those weirdo creepy eyes, too!"  
Neji's jaw dropped, "WHAT!?"  
"Neji-niichan!" Hinata sighed, "What are you doing here?"  
"I came to check on you, Hinata-chan!" Neji said, "And I find you here with… _who are these people_!?"

Naruto and Hinata exchanged a glance. Neji had no idea that Sasuke was in Konoha, too!  
He had no idea that these three strangers were Sasuke's companions!  
"Doctors!" Hinata said, "They… they're the doctors Tsunade-sama sent to watch over me and study… me."

Karin stared at Neji. He was _gorgeous_! With that handsome face, exotic eyes and long flowing hair! She felt her heart pound!  
Neji stared at the three, "They do _not_ look like doctors!"  
"Oh yea!?" Suigetsu jumped up, "And you don't look like a dude with that hairstyle!"

"Uh oh." Hinata murmured.  
"Ooh…" Naruto sighed.  
Juugo shook his head.  
Karin had no idea what was being said. Neji was just too beautiful to take her attention off!

Neji's eye twitched.  
No one. _NO ONE_ talked about his hair!

**TBC**

* * *

For TaichiSpirit, who asked so nicely! XD

_What Happened In The Bathroom..._

Hinata glared at Sasuke, "There! Are you happy?"   
"Tch." Sasuke pushed her aside and made his way to the toliet.   
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"   
Sasuke glanced back at her, "What do you mean what am I doing!? I'm USING THE BATHROOM!"

"YOU CAN'T PEE IN FRONT OF ME!"   
Sasuke stared at her, "It's not like you're gonna see my junk! I'M IN YOUR BODY!"   
"YOU CAN'T PEE IN MY BODY!"   
"I'M NOT! I'M RELIEVING YOUR BODY OF URINE!"

Hinata ran to the sink and began filling it with water, "Do what you will..." She said, "I'm going to drown myself."   
"FINE!" Sasuke yelled, "I just... HEY WAIT!"   
--

Naruto and Kakashi wondered what all the screaming in the bathroom was all about.   
They decided, though, that it was probably best not to get involved.   
--

Later, Sasuke's body shuffled into the kitchen, looking horrified and teary-eyed.   
Hinata's body followed looking somewhat perturbed but relieved.

* * *

Mm, mm! Crack!

Sorry this took forever to put up! I had a hard time writing it! (Who knew crack could be so hard to write!? I mean, come on! IT'S CRACK!)  
I'm so sure I've lost so many readers due to my crack-tivity.  
But I really want to thank everyone who has stayed to watch my quick descent into madness! XD  
All the reviewers and favers and alerters! THANK YOU! (For liking crack!)

Anyway!  
Poor Kakashi.  
He may never be able to father kids.  
Who knew Sasuke had a fear of needles?  
I totally think if Karin ever saw Neji, she'd fall in love with him.  
HA!

And you just know its true - you do _not_ talk about Neji's hair.  
Oh no.  
He will kick your ass.

Yeaaa! Review the crack! Love the crack! You know you want to!  
Or else I'll punch you in the ovaries! RIGHT IN THE BABY MAKER!!!  
(no, I'm kidding! I won't! I promise! I won't punch your baby-makers! I just really like saying 'baby-makers'!)

-4ng3legg


	8. Sasuke Makes A Realization

"I don't understand why this is necessary." Sasuke hissed.  
"Your father is bound to be worried. When he sees you safe and at home, all worry and mention of this situation will soon be gone." Iruka explained.  
"I'm being forced to stay there! I can't act like Hinata _in front of her family_. They'll realize its not me, I mean, her!" Sasuke growled, "Just… tell them Tsunade sent me off on a mission!"

"She wouldn't send you off so soon after a medical problem!" Kakashi said, "No, you've got stay in the Hyuuga house until Tsunade pronounces you healthy. Meanwhile, we'll be trying to find a cure or… _something_ to solve this problem."  
"This is so stupid." Sasuke hissed, "I can't believe something _this stupid_ would happen to _me_! Argghh!"  
"Shh! We're here." Iruka said, stopping at the huge entrance gates of the Hyuuga compound.  
"_Hinata-chan_…" Kakashi whispered, "It's _your_ house. Walk in. We'll follow."

Sasuke pushed against the door.  
It wouldn't budge.  
Iruka cleared his throat, "Coughpullcough"  
Hinata's face turned bright red and Sasuke pulled the door open, "I knew that!"  
Sasuke looked around. The Hyuuga compound was nothing like the Uchiha compound.

The streets of the Hyuuga compound were perfectly clean and the houses were all perfectly white. In spite of them being branch families, the houses still looked very prosperous.  
As the three walked down the nearly empty streets towards the Main Hyuuga House, Sasuke looked around, realizing that he could learn a lot about the Hyuugas while he was in this humiliating situation.  
Who knew what that information may be worth in the future?

"Ah! Hinata-neesan!" A young voice called, immediately followed by several childish voices, "Neesan! Neesan!"  
Sasuke turned and saw a crowd of white-eyed children rushing towards him.  
"Whoa."  
"Neesan, can you play with us? Please? Please?"  
"Please, neesan!"  
"Hanabi-neesan says she has to train! Please play with us, neesan!"

All of the kids had brown to black hair and each and every one of them had white eyes.  
"Go awa…" Sasuke started.  
"I'm sorry!" Iruka interrupted, "Hinata-san has been sick recently and she needs to rest for now, kids."  
All the kids sighed.

"Act like Hinata!" Iruka hissed angrily as he and Kakashi dragged Sasuke away from the group of disappointed children, "Quit barking at people and being rude."  
"_No_."  
"If you don't." Kakashi said, "Then everyone will realize that you're not really Hinata and then Tsunade-sama will send a bunch of ANBU – which you can't defeat because you're in a body you're not familiar with – and they'll lock you up and you'll never be able to find Itachi and…"  
"_Okay!_ Okay… jeez…" Sasuke sighed. He was willing to do anything necessary to kill Itachi and if acting like a stupid Hyuuga princess was necessary than so be it.  
--

Hinata sneezed.  
"Are you sick?" Naruto asked.  
Hinata shook her head, "I feel fine."  
"_You're_ making fun of _my_ hairdo?" Neji asked Suigetsu, "Seriously? With that soggy crap you've got on your head? _Seriously?_"  
"SOGGY!?"  
Karin laughed.

"At least it's obvious that I'm a _dude_. What look are you going for? AMBIGUOUS!? ANDROGENOUS!?" Suigetsu spat, "Or maybe you're funny." Suigetsu raised his arm and let his hand fall limp, "Ya know… _funny_?"  
Neji narrowed his white eyes, "This coming from the guy with the giant sword! Trying to compensate for something, hm?"  
Suigetsu snarled, "This sword," He said, gesturing to the sword that once belonged to Zabuza, "is _nothing_ compared to _this_sword." He pointed to his crotch, "GOT IT!?"  
Neji smirked, "_Sure_."

"THAT'S IT!" Suigetsu yelled, "I'm gonna slice you in half!"  
"I'd like to see you try."  
"But first I'll cut off all your_pretty_ hair," Suigetsu grinned wildly, "AND STUFF IT UP YOUR…"  
"STOP FIGHTING!" Naruto yelled, "There won't be _any_ battling! We've got a problem that's more important than _your_ hair," He pointed at Neji, "And _your_ obvious compensation issues!" He pointed at Suigetsu.

Neji grimaced. _Nothing_ was more important than his hair.  
Suigetsu glared hatefully at Naruto, "I am _NOT_ compensating for SOMETHING! I am _this close_ to showing you all and proving you all wrong."  
"Please don't!" Hinata and Juugo said just as Naruto and Neji said, "UGH!"  
"I DARE YOU TO!" Karin said. She realized she was the only one who said it, "I MEAN, Don't! That's… gross…"

"Well, what _are_ we supposed to do!?" Suigetsu yelled, "I'm _BORED_, jeez! I just want to go!"  
"I _knew_ you weren't doctors! Who are you people!?" Neji asked.  
"Well done, Suigetsu!" Karin barked, "You blew our cover!"  
"It was a stupid cover anyway!" Suigetsu yelled, "We're…"  
"Not important!" Hinata called, "Now that you're here, Neji-niichan, and you've got Byakugan maybe you can help us."  
"How?"  
"Surely the Byakugan can find some sort of clue as to how Sasuke and I are switched!" Hinata explained.  
"Maybe." Neji thought about it, "I suppose we can try."  
--

"Neechan!" Sasuke saw a girl running towards him, "You're back! I was so worried when Neji-niisan said you were rushed to the hospital."  
Sasuke frowned. Who was this girl?  
"O-oh…" Sasuke stuttered, "Uh… w-well… I'm fine now. It's okay…" He frowned, "Imouto-chan."  
Hanabi's worried smile faltered, "Ah… uh… Father is calling you."  
"Father!" Sasuke repeated, "Uh… y-yes… _father_."

"Lead the way, Hanabi-chan." Iruka said, "We must talk to Hiashi-san."  
"Of course, Iruka-sensei!" Hanabi said.  
Sasuke leaned back as he followed the younger girl, "She's, what? My sister?"  
"Yup." Kakashi nodded.  
"Do I have any other siblings?"  
"Just her. Neji-kun is your cousin but you call him 'niisan' or 'niichan' – whatever." Iruka said, "Hiashi is your father – he's the head of the Hyuuga clan."

"Un." Sasuke nodded, "Anything else I should know?"  
Iruka and Kakashi exchanged a glance.  
Sasuke looked at the two, "Well?"  
They shrugged, "We're not experts of the Hyuuga's." Kakashi said simply, "_Duh_."

Sasuke grimaced, "Shouldn't one of you be trying to find out how to fix this problem?"  
"Good idea." Kakashi said, "I'm out of here!"  
"You!" Iruka grabbed his arm, "Go back to my apartment and keep an eye on the others."  
Kakashi grimaced. He'd wanted to go and read his book in peace but _nooooo_.  
"Fine. At least I don't have to deal with Hyuuga Hiashi." Kakashi smiled beneath his mask and disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

"Iruka-sensei," Sasuke asked, "What if we can't find a way to reverse this?"  
Iruka sighed, "We should just go back and talk to Tsunade-sama, Sasuke – if you're really worried."  
"No."  
"Why?"  
"She'll lock me up. I'd rather fight Itachi as Hinata than be locked up and unable to fight him at all."  
Sasuke gasped.

Of course! This stupid situation was so _stupid_!  
He'd allowed it to distract him! He should be _training_! Not wandering around trying to fool everyone! WHO CARES WHAT THEY THOUGHT!?  
"I'm out of here!" Sasuke yelled, "I've got to train!"  
"WHAT!?" Iruka cried, "What are you talking about!?"

"Come on, Iruka-sensei." Sasuke grabbed Iruka's arm, "Forget this! If I can be changed back, then I've got to work with what I've got!" He ran from the Hyuuga compound, dragging the startled teacher behind him.  
"HINATA!" Hanabi cried, "WHERE ARE YOU GOING!?"  
--

Kakashi popped into the apartment just as Suigetsu was flying through the air, his sword in his hand, "I'LL KILL YOU!" He screamed as he flew towards Neji.  
"WHOA!" Kakashi grabbed the younger man and held him away from Neji, "What did I just walk into?"  
Neji was grinning, "I just call them like I see them!"  
"I'm gonna wrap your hair around your neck and throttle you." Suigetsu hissed, "Back off, OLD MAN!" He yelled at Kakashi, "Get your hands offa me!"

Kakashi dropped the younger man, "Just WHAT is going on?"  
Hinata was shaking Sasuke's head, "Neji was _supposed_ to be examining me for any disturbances in my chakra but instead he looked at Suigetsu and said that he had a small…" Sasuke's face blushed darkly, "Well, I'm sure you can guess what he said."  
Kakashi smirked at Neji, "Interested in that sort of thing, Neji?"  
Neji glared at Kakashi, "Don't be disgusting. It was just a…"

"WE GOTTA TRAIN!" Hinata's voice could be heard screaming in the street outside, "COME ON!"  
Hinata looked out the window and saw her body running towards the apartment building, dragging Iruka behind.  
The entire group listened as footsteps could be heard stampeding, running up the stairs, stampeding again and then…  
"NARUTO! SUIGETSU! HINATA! KAKASHI!" Sasuke screamed, bursting through the door, "LET'S GO! WE'VE GOT TO TRAIN!"  
Karin and Juugo exchanged a glance, "What are we? Chopped liver?" Karin asked.

"Hinata!?" Neji screamed, "HINATA!" He pointed at Hinata's body, "HINATA!?" He pointed at Sasuke's body, "WHAT THE FU-!?"  
"I think Sasuke's ruined the cover." Naruto told Hinata.  
"It seems so."  
"UCHIHA SASUKE!" Neji continued, "You are! _I KNEW IT!_"  
"Hyuuga?" Sasuke stopped when he saw Neji, "Yea… YEA! YOU COME, TOO! LET'S GO!"

"What did Tsunade do to him!?" Naruto asked.  
"Turned him into you?" Kakashi laughed, "Let's go! Hahhaha!"  
Naruto glared at his teacher.  
"Ok, ok – STOP." Iruka huffed, "Everyone needs to calm down and shut the hell up."  
"_No_." Sasuke hissed, "I said, '_Let's go'_."

Suddenly everyone found themselves wrapped in hissing snakes.  
"Oh." Naruto gasped, "Looks like we're going somewhere!"  
"Apparently." Kakashi said as the snakes began dragging them out of the apartment, following Hinata's body.  
-

Shikamaru decided it was best not to interfere when he saw the group of people being dragged through the street by a mass of snakes.  
It didn't matter that he was relatively sure he saw Uchiha Sasuke along side Naruto.  
No one would believe him if he told anyone.  
No – getting involved would simply be too troublesome.  
-

"I figured." Hinata's voice washed over the people, "We've got to train. Karin and Juugo will research and try to figure out a way to fix this problem by using a transformation technique and transforming into Iruka-sensei and Kakashi. The rest of you will help me train. If there is no way to fix this problem, then its time I figured out how to fight using this body. That's where Hinata and Neji come in. You will teach me how to use the Byakugan. Naruto, Kakashi and Suigetsu will help me train physically and Iruka will help me re-learn the basics using this body."  
No one argued against Sasuke's reasoning.  
They couldn't.  
The snakes were covering their mouths.  
**  
TBC**

* * *

Movin along, movin along. 

My theory is, Suigetsu is compensating for something. :'D  
LOL  
My theory is also that Sasuke carried a vial of his own blood on his person - "just in case". It would make sense, though, wouldn't it? I dunno. I'm going crazy. :P

Don't worry, the next chapter won't be filled with fighting. I'm terrible at writing fight scenes.  
I'm gonna fast-forward to meeting Itachi.  
Won't THAT be exciting. LOL

People are still reading this!? Yes? I LOVE YOU GUYS!  
REVIEW, PLZ!?

-4ng3legg

EDIT: Thanks to lightxdark for pointing out my Hiashi-Hisashi-Hizashi mistake. LOL. Jeez, APOLOGIES!


	9. The Big Day

_Two Days Before The Big Day_

Sasuke watched his body stumbled backwards, "O-okay…" he heard his voice panted, "I think… I think you're getting better."  
"Or you're getting worse." Sasuke sneered as he dropped his fighting stance, "We've only been training for eight hours."  
"Eight hours without food or rest, moron." Hinata snapped, "For twelve days we've trained for 14 hours of every day…" Hinata groaned and sank to her knees, "We've got to stop."  
"No!" Sasuke barked, "We can't stop now!"  
"Tch – you keep training," Hinata rose shakily and stumbled away, "I've got to rest."

"NARUTO!" Sasuke roared, "WHERE ARE YOU!?"  
Naruto remained quiet. He was partially asleep but another part of him was just awake enough to know that if he made a sound, Sasuke would find him and make him train.  
"NARUTO!"  
Sasuke spat on the ground, "FINE! KAKASHI!"  
A few trees away from where Naruto was hiding, Kakashi was devising a plan.  
"WHERE ARE YOU OLD MAN!?" Hinata's voice screamed into the air.  
Kakashi sighed, _'Sorry about this, Naruto…'_

Naruto heard the familiar sound of a kunai slicing through the air towards…  
Naruto sprang into the air and caught the kunai, "Who…!?" He yelled before he could catch himself.  
"NARUTO!" Hinata's voice shouted, "THERE YOU ARE!"  
"DAMMIT!" Naruto hissed, "Kakashi-sensei! KAKASHI-SENSEI! I KNOW IT WAS YOU!"  
Kakashi barely heard the blond cursing, hissing and vowing revenge as Sasuke dragged him away to train.  
He was much too busy trying to figure out a way to escape without Sasuke discovering him.

"Poor Naruto…" Iruka sighed, "Looks like Sasuke found him."  
"Tch." Neji nursed a broken nose, "Can you hurry up and finish healing me?"  
Both winced when they heard Naruto scream, "YOU MORON! YOU BETTER THANK THE HEAVENS YOU HIT MY INNER THIGH! TWO INCHES UP AND YOU'D HAVE KNOCKED MY JUNK OFF!"  
"I'M HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE BALANCING!" Hinata's voice screamed, "I WAS OFF BY A BIT!"  
"SO YOU WERE AIMING FOR MY NUTS!?"

"Where's Suigetsu?" Neji asked as Iruka finished healing him.  
"He disappeared after Sasuke managed to kick him into the river. I'm pretty sure he took the opportunity to escape." Iruka answered, "Looks like Naruto is going to have to take a break. We'd better scatter or else Sasuke is gonna find us."  
"WE'VE BARELY STARTED!" Hinata's voice was screaming, "YOU CAN'T JUST WALK OFF!"  
"FORGET YOU!" Naruto roared.

"Hey." Sasuke's body appeared before the two hiding nins.  
"Ah!" Neji clutched his face, "_Hinata!_ Don't _do that_!"  
Hinata giggled, "Sorry – I heard you two talking and thought I'd have a laugh."  
"Well, if you heard us then Sasuke probably could too. Come on, we've got to disappear better." Iruka sighed.  
"Agreed." Neji nodded, "Let's get out of here before Sasuke…"  
"AH HA!" Hinata's body appeared, "_Got you._"

"_Shit_." Hinata barked as snakes began slithering around their legs, "Well… at least he's gotten better at sneaking around in my body."  
"Again with the snakes…" Iruka sighed.  
"Watch the face!" Neji growled, "Hey! I think this snake is chewing on my hair! _Not the hair!_ NOT THE HAIR!"  
_--_

_In The Konoha Public Library_

"Psst…_Karin_!"  
Karin lifted her head, "SHH! I'm _Kakashi_ – remember?"  
Juugo grunted, "Right, sorry. Hey – I think I've found something."  
"Eh? What?"  
"Check this out." Juugo held the book up for Karin to see.  
Karin scanned the page quickly, "Huh…" She said with a smile twitching beneath the mask on her face, "Wasn't expecting that."  
_--_

_The Big Day_

"So do you think Itachi is gonna kill us quickly or is he gonna drag it out?" Naruto asked.  
"Drag it out – definitely." Kakashi nodded, "In fact – he'll probably kill us within a few minutes but he'll use his abilites to make it seem like a freakin' year."  
"Jeez."  
"I could do that." Sasuke murmured, "Once." He glared at Hinata.  
Hinata ignored him, "Excited Suigetsu-kun?"

Suigetsu giggled maniacally, "Of course I am! I'm gonna get to fight Kisame-sempai and get my second sword!"  
Iruka glanced around at the group of people traveling towards the meeting spot.  
Sasuke marched again – still in Hinata's body.  
Juugo and Suigetsu walked along on either side of Sasuke with Karin a few steps behind.  
Several paces behind were Naruto and Kakashi, followed by Hinata – still in Sasuke's body - and Neji and then Iruka himself.  
"This is going to be impossible." Iruka sighed, "There's no way we're going to get out of this alive."  
"Don't be so down." Naruto smiled, "We'll find a way to survive, Iruka-sensei! We always do!"

"Settle down." Sasuke said, "We're entering hearing range."  
"Right." Kakashi nodded, "Let's go."  
Sasuke, Juugo, Suigetsu and Karin watched as the other five nins jumped into the trees.  
"We'll be seeing you." Naruto called.  
--

"Excited?"  
"No."  
Kisame laughed, "Sure you are! Look at that excited look on your face."  
Itachi glanced at Kisame – the same blank look on his face he always had.  
"D'awww… you're just about to explode, aren't you?"  
"…"  
"After all," Kisame continued, "That girl was very beautiful. I can certainly see why your interest would be sparked."

"I have no romantic interest in the girl." Itachi said.  
"Maybe not _romantic_." Kisame grinned, "But I'm sure you have some interest in her."  
"I am human." Itachi conceded, "And she is a beautiful girl."  
"Oh ho ho! So you are excited!"  
"Mm." Itachi grunted without emphasis, "You seem to be fairly excited yourself, Kisame."

"It's been a while since I had a good battle against another sword-specialist. As I recall, Suigetsu-kun was a wildcard – an absolute freak when it came to battle. This'll be fun." Kisame grinned.  
"And if you win…?"  
"IF!? You mean 'when'! I'll get his sword or something – not that I need that rusty old thing. And hopefully, the good feeling you get when you've had a really excellent battle. I hope he lasts long enough to keep me entertained."

"And if he wins?"  
Kisame laughed, "If he wins, Itachi – it'll be a sign of some impending doom. You might want to watch your back for your brother. Haha!"  
Itachi grunted but said nothing.  
Sasuke wasn't really a worrying point for Itachi.  
Besides, there was a wide-eyed, black haired girl waiting for him.  
Who could keep their mind concentrated on a murderous little brother when there was an image like that in their head?  
--

Suigetsu surged ahead, "Kisame-sempai! You made it!"  
Up ahead in a clearing, Kisame stood holding his sword. Itachi stood beside him.  
"Hello!" Sasuke called out with a false note of cheerfulness, "We meet again, Uchiha-san! Hoshigaki-san!"  
Itachi's eyes stayed on Hinata's body as Sasuke moved towards him, "Hyuuga-san." Itachi said.

"No need for such formalities." Sasuke gushed, "You can call me Hotaru-chan!"  
"Mm." Itachi grunted.  
"A-aren't you going to tell me Uchiha-san's personal name?" Sasuke asked. He willed his stomach to keep from hurling. He needed to put on this act in order to get closer to Itachi. He would do whatever was necessary to kill him.

"Itachi." Itachi said simply, "Hyuuga-san…"  
"Hotaru-chan!" Sasuke interrupted with a giggle.  
Karin stared at the gushing girl, feeling her respect for Sasuke drain away.

"Mm," Itachi gave a short nod, "I don't recall there being a Hyuuga Hotaru…"  
"Are you an expert in the Hyuuga family?" Sasuke practically hissed, "_Ahem_, excuse me… I mean – even the Hyuuga family has its secrets."  
"You look like a girl I remember… she was the heir to the Hyuuga family."  
"My sister." Sasuke said, "My older sister… by minutes."  
Itachi glanced at her, "Your twin?"  
"Twins run in the family." Sasuke lied neatly, "I decided I didn't want to be branch family if I couldn't be the heir. So I left."

"Hey, you all might want to back away." Suigetsu called out, "This is gonna get ugly…"

Karin and Juugo sat away from the Uchiha brothers, their heads close as they talked rapidly.  
"What are your friends discussing?" Itachi asked as they watched Kisame and Suigetsu run at each other.  
"I'm sure I don't know." Sasuke shrugged.  
"They sound urgent."  
"Perhaps they're planning to kill us all." Sasuke snapped, "I _said_ I don't know!"

Itachi glanced at the girl he knew as Hotaru, "So you say you're a missing nin?"  
Sasuke nodded, "I walked out of Konoha and never turned back."  
"How old are you?"  
"15." Sasuke answered honestly, "And you?"  
"Older." Itachi said simply.  
Sasuke giggled brainlessly.

"What do you do in your travels?" Itachi asked.  
"Travel." Sasuke practically spat the word, "Ha. ha."  
"You carry a sword."  
"It's not easy being a girl in this world. I've got to defend myself."  
"You're able to?"  
"Against anyone who dares to attack me." Sasuke said with a smile, "Why do you ask so many questions, Uchiha-san? Are you planning on attacking me?"  
"Hm."  
"Oh oh – I must warn you, Uchiha-san. If you attack me, I'll _kill_ you." Sasuke giggled again.

Itachi regarded the girl carefully, "You laughed but I don't sense that you meant it as a joke."  
"I didn't."  
"There's something very strange about you." Itachi said, "I've never met a girl like you."  
"You sound like a trashy romance novel." Sasuke said, "I wish this stupid fight was over so I could leave already."  
"Leave? Two weeks ago you were begging to accompany my partner and I." Itachi said.

Sasuke sniffed, "Two weeks is a long time, Uchiha-san. You've nothing I desire. I don't see any special strength in you or your partner."  
Kisame shouted out as Suigetsu's blade knicked his arm, "You made me bleed!" Kisame crowed, "I can't believe it!"  
"No special strength?" Itachi repeated.  
"None." Sasuke said, "I don't believe either of you are very powerful."  
"No?"  
"No. Would you like to prove me wrong?"

Itachi stared at her, "What?"  
"Fight me. Prove me wrong, Uchiha-san or shut up. I'm bored and I'd prefer some entertainment but if you won't fight me then stop talking to me."  
"You want to fight me."  
"Tch – it's a yes or no question, Uchiha-_san_. Either you will fight me or you won't – what's your decision?"  
Itachi was quiet a moment. Then he turned to Sasuke, "Fine. I'll fight you, Hyuuga-san."  
"_Hotaru-chan!_"

* * *

Itachi is a romantic - didn't you know?  
Sorry this is so late and so short. ;;  
I will try to do better in the future! 

-4ng3legg


	10. The Ole Switcharoo!

Itachi looked bored. He easily side-stepped Sasuke when the younger Uchiha charged towards him _again_.  
Sasuke tried to keep his balance but in the heat of battle he found he'd forgotten his training in Hinata's body. It didn't help that he'd woken up that morning feeling strange. He ignored the feeling and continued his preparation. This was his chance to kill Itachi. He couldn't pass it up just because he was feeling "strange".  
He swung wildly and moved erratically.

Itachi wasn't even bothering to fight against him.  
Sasuke roared. He was getting angry and frustrated. Itachi's stoic attitude was an insult.  
Worse, Sasuke realized, was that he would have acted the exact same way had their situations been reversed.  
-

Itachi knew full well he was antagonizing the gorgeous woman who was struggling with all of her apparent might.  
Itachi wondered why the Hyuuga wouldn't use her precious Byakugan.  
-

High in the branches of the forest, Hinata watched the two with a grim frown.  
"He's not doing well at all." Naruto sighed.  
"Nope." Kakashi groaned, "He's too emotional."  
"He's all over the place." Iruka agreed.

"He's going to get me killed." Hinata hissed, "I should go down there and stop this nonsense."  
"Don't even joke." Iruka said, "The appearance of Sasuke would be disastrous. Itachi's only allowing Sasuke to battle him now because, one – he doesn't know its Sasuke and two – he's interested in seeing a Hyuuga fight. Plus he's probably getting some sort of amusement from provoking him… _her_… whatever."

Hinata sighed. The only reason they'd come was to make sure Sasuke didn't end up getting her body destroyed and himself killed.  
They still didn't know much about why or how they'd managed to switch bodies, but it probably wouldn't bode well if Sasuke died while in her body.  
Then Hinata would be stuck as Sasuke forever!  
Complete with emo, hair-care and dick!  
SHE COULDN'T LET THAT HAPPEN!  
"Hinata!" Neji grabbed Sasuke's arm, "Calm down. We have to be patient and see how this situation unfurls."

Hinata clutched Sasuke's stomach. She'd been feeling strange all day but didn't tell anyone for fear they'd force her to stay behind.  
She had to make sure her body was safe!  
Down on the floor, Itachi had grabbed Hinata's arm, spun her around and threw her across the clearing.  
Hinata winced in the tree.  
-

Sasuke clutched his stomach. His vision swam before his eyes.  
This wasn't good.  
He was unbearably dizzy.  
If he didn't go back out there to meet Itachi, who knew what the Uchiha would do?

Sasuke stumbled across the clearing.  
"Perhaps it would be advantageous to stop." Itachi said.  
Sasuke blinked several times. Itachi's voice seemed to echo.  
"N-no…" Sasuke shook his head and immediately regretted the action, "We… we continue!"

Sasuke took a deep breath and assumed the gentle fist fighting stance.  
"Are you finished playing?" Itachi asked.  
Sasuke remained quiet. His only response was to turn his left hand – whose palm had been facing Itachi – to face himself and motion for Itachi to come forward.  
Itachi smirked.

Sasuke moved forward, the details of Neji and Hinata's training running through his head.  
Hinata's hands moved as if Hinata herself were fighting and the blows were coming quick and strong.  
But Itachi was still able to deflect them all.

When Sasuke aimed for Itachi's chest, Itachi deflected Hinata's hand, grabbed her wrist and jerked Sasuke off his feet.  
"Why aren't you using your Byakugan?" Itachi asked.  
Sasuke frowned, "I don't consider you worthy."  
Itachi's eyebrows rose and Sasuke pulled Hinata's wrist free, "Don't underestimate me."  
-

Hinata swayed on the branch and caught herself before she went tumbling down to the forest floor.  
No one noticed the action. They were too intent on watching Sasuke and Itachi's very mismatched battle.  
Hinata tried to concentrate on something to help keep her mind off the dizziness.

What had Karin and Juugo learned?  
The Hyuugas and Uchiha's were distant cousins. For a long time before the village of Konoha existed the two families were as one – intermarrying often.  
But when Uchiha Madara had founded the village of Konoha with the first Hokage the Hyuuga family had been offended that their head had not been asked to help found the village.  
The two families had a schism and the relations grew bad.

Somewhere in the past, Hinata and Sasuke shared an ancestor. They were distantly related.  
It still wasn't a reason as to why the two had switched bodies but perhaps it was a clue.  
-

"I'll admit your fighting improved a moment ago but I have no worry as to whether or not you'll defeat me." Itachi said simply.  
Sasuke snarled and assumed the stance again.  
Again, Hinata's body moved fluidly.  
But still, Itachi had no trouble maneuvering against Sasuke.

Again, Itachi caught Hinata's wrist but this time he forced her forwards, towards himself.  
"Why are you so intent on fighting me, Hyuuga-san?"  
"You ask too many questions." Sasuke hissed.  
Itachi was amused. That was something he'd never thought anyone would tell him.

He kept his hand locked around Hinata's wrist and Sasuke moved to free himself.  
Itachi pushed him backwards and then pulled him forwards – as if Hinata were a yo-yo.  
"You're playing with me." Sasuke spat as Itachi pushed him backwards.  
"I enjoy playing with you." Itachi said as he pulled Hinata's body towards himself.  
"I know other games we could play." He murmured in Hinata's left ear just before he pushed Sasuke backwards again.  
-

"What did Itachi just whisper in Sasuke's ear?" Naruto asked.  
Kakashi shook his head, "Couldn't hear."  
Hinata rubbed Sasuke's left ear. What did they mean they didn't hear? Hinata heard him as if Itachi had whispered it in her own ear.  
In… her… _own ear_.  
-

Sasuke's head swam and Itachi released Hinata's wrist, "You look sick, Hyuuga-san."  
"Why shouldn't I?" Sasuke groaned, "You touched me. I feel as though I'd like to return my lunch."  
Itachi blinked, "You find me repulsive?"  
"I know of no one more disgusting than you." Sasuke swayed on Hinata's feet. He raised his hand and tried to assume the stance again.  
Instead he groaned and fell backwards.

Itachi caught Hinata's body before it hit the ground, "Such ugly words coming out of such a beautiful girl." He leaned in and Sasuke nearly shrieked, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"  
"I think you're attracted to me, Hyuuga-san."  
"NO! NO, I'M NOT!" Sasuke flailed, growing dizzier and more nauseous. He squeezed Hinata's eyes shut, "S-STOP!"

"I believe otherwise, Hyuuga-sAAAAAAARGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!"  
Sasuke yelped when Itachi suddenly released him and Sasuke fell to the ground.  
"WHAT THE FUCK!?" Itachi was screaming, "NO! NO! THAT IS _NOT_ COOL! OH, JEEZ… OH GOD, KISAME! KIIIIIIIIISAAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!"

Sasuke sat up. He suddenly felt much better.  
He wondered why 1) Itachi was screaming – something he'd never seen his older brother do and 2) why his clothes felt so tight and weird.  
-

"WHAT!?" Kisame yelled back, still in mid-fight with Suigetsu.  
"WE'RE GETTING OUT OF HERE!" Itachi yelled, "I NEARLY KISSED MY BROTHER!"  
"_WHAT!?!?_" Kisame turned and saw Itachi gagging and Sasuke sitting on the floor. Wearing girl's clothes. _Tight_ girl's clothes.

Suigetsu took the opportunity of Kisame's distraction and slammed the blunt edge of his sword against Kisame's skull.  
The blue-skinned man grunted and toppled over.  
"I WIN, BITCHES! I WIN!" Suigetsu crowed, "SUSHI TONIGHT! WHO WANTS FIN!? AHHHAHHA!!!"  
-

"Oh shit." Kakashi said, "We'd better catch Itachi before he gets away."  
"Ahhh!" Hinata sighed as the four male ninjas jumped out of the tree, "I feel much better."  
She wrapped her arms around her chest, "I missed you girls!"  
-

As Suigetsu raised his blade to begin hacking the unconscious Akatsuki member to pieces, Itachi moved forward.  
He grabbed his partner and fled into the trees.  
"MY SWORD!" Suigetsu screamed, running after the two, "I WON IT FAIR, UCHIHA! HAND IT OVER!"  
Sasuke ran after his brother, "WHAT'S THE MATTER ITACHI!? I THOUGHT YOU LIKED MEEEEEEEE!"  
"WAIT SASUKE! MAYBE YOU SHOULD CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES!" Karin ran after Sasuke, "I HAVE THEM HERE! I KEPT THEM FOR YOU!"

"Too much." Kakashi said as he watched the group disappear, "Too chaotic. Uchiha Itachi has escaped."  
Juugo trailed after his group, "See ya'."  
"Bye!" Naruto called.

Hinata jumped down to the group of Konoha nins, "But how?"  
"Who cares?" Naruto asked, "Just be happy you're back to normal."

"We never speak of this again." Neji said.  
"_Ever_." Hinata emphasized.  
"Agreed." Iruka and Kakashi said.  
Naruto nodded, "Yup."

**The End**

* * *

... 

what... the... fudge...?

I... I'm sorry. B-blame the plot bunnies! THEY DO CRACK! I... I'M SORRY!

But yea, that's the end.  
I can't write anymore because i have no more ideas for this story.  
But I did have fun writing it and all his cracknacity.

I hope you guys had fun reading.  
I rather enjoy the image of Sasuke running after his brother, taunting him while wearing tight girls clothing.

I could not, for the life of me, think of a good reason WHY they'd switched bodies.  
Let's assume it had something to do with the idea that they're distantly related.

I hope you guys aren't too disappointed in me. (_It's ok, I'm used to it. LOL_)  
I STILL LOVE YOU IF YOU ARE.  
(But seriously, isn't it better that the story has some sort of ending and I didn't just abandon it? T-that counts for something right? Right guys?? -crickets- Guys?)

Thanks for all the lovely reviews. I hope I at least made you giggle.  
-4ng3legg

-shot-


End file.
